


Finding You Again

by orphan_account



Series: The Future of Us Series [2]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: AU, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-01-24 19:59:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1615226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They were all trying to deal with it in their own way, but none of it seemed right. Jace was in mourning, Izzy and Clary in denial, and Magnus was just lost. He just wasn't sure how much longer any of them could keep doing this. There were no answers, not even death. It was like Alec had just vanished."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

“This is impossible, I can’t see anything. We should head back,” Izzy said to her parabatai as they sloshed their way through the thick falling rain. When she turned back to check on Clary she noticed that she could barely make out her face. It seemed they weren’t making much progress like this. Honestly she hadn’t wanted to take Clary with her in the first place, it still seemed too soon after Lily for her to be out on a hunt.

“We can’t go back! He’s the last person in the city we’ve talked to, he could know something,” Clary tried to shout over the rain.

“If I never see him again it will be too soon!” Izzy fumed. Whatever brief good will she had towards Julian had vanished over the last month. Now even the mention of his name made goosebumps on her arms. She wouldn’t say she was afraid of him really, but she did feel like prey in his sights, and that there was an unspoken rivalry between them. She kept remembering back to when he had first came into the city, to help them find Adelaide, and how she studiously ignored Magnus’s warnings that he was bad news.

“This could be our last chance Iz, you can’t tell me you don’t wanna take it!” Clary told her.

“And what if something goes wrong? You’re in no condition to fight,” Isabelle tried to fight back.

“If Victoria’s Secret models can hit the runway a month after having a baby than I can certainly watch your back two months after,” Clary argued back.

“When was the last time you seen one of them girls fight off a demon? This is different,” Izzy replied. Clary grabbed her by the back of the jacket and whirled her around so they were facing each other.

“I know you’re worried Iz, but you can’t protect everyone. Jace said I was good to go, Constantine said the same. Can’t you just have a little faith in me?” Clary asked. They were both soaked to the bone, hair sopping in their faces.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, I trust you,” Isabelle said and squeezed Clary’s hand. She had been a wreck since Alec went missing, not wanting to accept the fact that he was probably dead. None of them did, even though there was proof that he could be dead, and no proof so far that he could still be alive. Life had been so hollow these past two months, it was almost impossible to not be on edge and to not worry too much about the ones you loved. Dead end after dead end forced them all into a mock mourning, since the truth was still unknown. Suddenly Clary cocked her head to the side.

“Do you hear that?” She asked Isabelle, who had to strain to hear a slight beating sound. She followed Clary around the back of a rundown auto garage, listening over the weather for the sound to get stronger. They stopped short when they saw a group of young men crowd together in a semi-circle.

“Drug deal?” Clary whispered as they stayed out of sight and kept eyes on the men.

“Not human drugs,” Isabelle whispered, recognizing one of them as a vampire. They watched hoping to get a better view of what they were doing, but they were so still, it seemed as if they were some sick version of a prayer circle. Izzy motioned for Clary to follow her closer for a better look, but no matter what angle they got, the rain made it impossible to tell if there was an actual exchange going on or not.

“Izzy we’re here,” Clary said, having opened a small window on the ground with a rune, showing that they were on top of the rave they were looking for. “How are we ever going to find him down there?”

“The real problem is getting in,” Isabelle said nervously, casting a glance to the assembled circle, which she now assumed was protecting the door.

“Iz, I’ll just portal us in, pick a good spot,” Clary said, ignoring the men in the circle.

“Fine, just do it here, and do it fast,” Isabelle said, standing up and guarding Clary as she drew her runes into the ground with her steele. The smaller woman tugged on her parabatai’s boot twice when the portal was complete, and took pointe, dropping in first. She climbed down deftly from the rafters and when Izzy was threw the portal was closed. When they set their feet on the ground no one was the wiser.

“Stay together,” Isabelle warned as they made their way through the writhing bodies. Many turned and glared at them as they passed by, but the music was so loud and the room so dark, nobody truly stopped them. Whispers of Shadowhunter rippled through the crowd, but when mostly unheeded as the two women picked their way through, eyes open for one vampire in particular.

When they hit the back wall they were no closer to their goal. Izzy was practically glowing with anger and Clary was starting to lose her patience as well, which most likely meant she was about to do something reckless.

“Stealth isn’t gonna work Iz,” Clary told her. She grabbed the wrist of the first vampire that was foolish enough to walk so close to them, and pulled him hard, slamming him into the wall. Isabelle instinctively shifted her position to block the shake down.

“Where is Julian Lizare?” Clary asked, holding the man’s arm twisted behind his back.

“Filthy Nephilim,” The vampire spat. “You’ve come to the wrong party.”

“Where is he?” Clary shouted over the music, sending her knee hard into the man’s lower back.

“I know who you are!” The vampire hissed. “I know who your children are!”

The words made no difference to Clary, she took the man by the hair and slammed his face into the wall, a flash of silver coming to her hand. She pressed it ever so gently into the back of the creature’s neck, smiling all the while.

“If you know who I am then you know who we are looking for,” Clary said. “Don’t make me hurt you. Just answer the question.”

“You ain’t looking for Julian, you’re looking for Alec Lightwood,” The man said laughing. That was when Isabelle finally turned towards them, her whip appearing gracefully at her side, eyes wide with hate. She grabbed the vampire from Clary, by his throat, and pushed him into the wall again. Then she took her boot and replaced the hand at his throat with it, a spike coming out of her long pointed stiletto heel.

“What do you know?” She shouted viciously. People were starting to turn and look, the shadows weren’t hiding them well after all. Clary had hands on weapons, ready for the fight that seemed to be bubbling to the surface. They weren’t safe here, and most of their shakedowns turned violent these days.

“I only know what I hear,” The vampire said, still grinning.

“What have you heard?! I’m done being nice,” Izzy said and pressed the tip of her spiked heel into his throat enough to pierce the skin, making him howl out in pain.

“I heard your queer brother is missing, and his boyfriend is tearing up the underworld to look for him. I heard Simon offered a hefty reward for him, and I know the Nephilim are falling apart,” The man said. Clary flashed him a look when he said it, there was something in his eyes that spoke of an attack. “Julian isn’t here either, or so I’ve heard.”

Clary grabbed Isabelle and shoved her to the side as two more men launched themselves at the girls from within the crowd. Angry eyes and teeth flashed their way and Clary knew it was time to get the hell out of there. Izzy had the same mind set and jumped to her feet, her whip sailing out behind her and slashing the vampire they had been talking to cruelly across the face. Clary was already up ahead, climbing a lose iron scaffold to get back to the rafters. Isabelle wasn’t far behind, shoving and kicking her way through the hungry crowd, avoiding staying in one place too long so she wouldn’t get grabbed.

Izzy reached the scaffolding and climbed it recklessly, kicking out piping behind her as she went. By the time she reached her parabatai, Clary was already half way through drawing the portal to get them out.

“They aren’t chasing us?” Clary said as she finished up the portal.

“They took the real entrance, they’ll try and cut us off in the alley,” Izzy told her.

“What’s the game plan then?” Clary asked as she poised herself to pull herself into the portal.

“Split up and run like hell, get to a public place and they won’t touch you.”

“Meet me at the Main Perk,” Clary said and was gone.

 

((0))

 

“Magnus?” Came a soft voice from the hall. It was well past two, but anyone in the building knew he couldn’t sleep. That he hadn’t been sleeping for a while now. The warlock rose from his seat and went out into the hall, Clary was standing in the doorway of the apartment looking like a little drown kitten. She had a bit of blood on the side of her face but seemed unharmed.

“Did you find Julian?” Magnus asked, knowing already that she probably hadn’t.

“Another dead end,” Clary said sullenly. “The girls and Jace are sleeping, can I come in?”

Magnus still lived in Alec’s apartment. He couldn’t bring himself to leave it. It was the only place that offered him small comforts. Clary’s children were one of them. Violet still called him Uncle Kitty, and Lily was probably the happiest and most angelic baby he had ever seen. It made him feel like he still had a family, a family that two months ago was whole and happy.

“Alcohol’s on top of the fridge,” Magnus said, going to the living room and sinking into a chair. This was a ritual every time Clary got back from a hunt. She hated being home he knew, with Jace in a constant fog of depression or anger. They were all trying to deal with it in their own way, but none of it seemed right. Jace was in mourning, Izzy and Clary in denial, and Magnus was just lost.

Clary came and sat on the couch, setting a bottle of vodka on the coffee table. They drank in silence for a while, until it became unbearable. Then she told him about what happened tonight, and how much danger she and Isabelle put themselves in. It wasn’t like he could tell them not to, Alec was just as much their family as he was his. He just wasn’t sure how much longer any of them could keep doing this. There were no answers, not even death. It was like Alec had just vanished.

“Gwen’s been coming over a lot lately, I think it helps Jace sometimes,” Clary said to him.

“Why would it help him? We found Callista’s body, Gwen knows what happened to her parabatai,” Magnus said sullenly.

“You know what Jace thinks, how he feels,” Clary said with a hint of angry warning in her voice.

“He thinks Alec is dead,” Magnus told her.

“What do you think Magnus? How long can we keep doing this?” Clary said, tears coming to her eyes. “Izzy is going crazy, I can’t even sleep anymore. I just want it all to end.”

“You want to give up the search?” Magnus asked carefully.

“Of course not, I just want the right answers, to talk to the right people,” Clary said and wiped at her eyes before drinking a bit more. “It’s like everyone knows just a tiny bit more, but no one knows the whole truth. You should have seen those vamps tonight Magnus, they knew something more, something we couldn’t make them tell us.”

Just then her phone went off, making her nearly jump out of her skin. Maia’s name flashed across the screen and Clary lurched for it, answering on the second ring and putting it on speaker phone.

“Maia, everything okay?” Clary asked.

“Someone just got back from his extended stay in Paris,” Maia said, panting and full of malic.

“What do you mean?” Clary asked, her hands starting to shake.

“I mean Julian Lizare is back in the Big Apple,” Maia told her. “We only have a few hours of dark left, rally the troops, I’ll keep tabs on him. Let’s hit him before the sunrise, he’ll feel nice and chatty then.”


	2. Shattered

They took no chances with him, coming out in force to make sure this wasn't some kind of trap or trick. Maia was there of course, and Kyle. Magnus and Clary came as well, with Isabelle, Gwen, and Molly not far behind. Julian for his part, was strapped down to a chair and looking like he would gladly kill all of them just given the opportunity. He still looked the same as last time any of them had seen him. Narrow pretty face, wicked smile, and thick black hair pulled back in a knot. His clothes were layered and frayed looking, and he of course was dirty. He always looked dirty.

"Is this how the Clave treats visitors now?" He asked, eyes going straight to Isabelle. Her face was stone, and she walked immediately up to him and kicked his chair over with enough force to crack the back of it when it hit the ground. Maia and Kyle hauled him back to a sitting position.

"Why did you skip town Julian?" Isabelle asked. He laughed at first and she turned around and punched him in the jaw. "Tell me why you went to Paris."

"My clan is in Paris, in case you forgot," He said, his vague Yorkshire accent tinting his words.

They had brought Julian to Magnus's loft, which was no longer really in living condition. Sometimes training went on here, sometimes risky experiments, a few parties and such, but since Alec had been missing, it was the rally and investigation point for all involved. There were pictures and runes on the walls, a network of people that were suspected or already questioned. In the middle of it all Julian's name stood, one of the only people they hadn't had a chance to question yet.

"My brother goes missing the same day you left for Paris, and I am what? Supposed to take that for a coincidence?" Isabelle asked. She then turned to Magnus and told him to open the windows. "Sunrise is in about an hour, so you have till then to decide if you're going to tell me the truth or not."

"No need to be as serious as all that love," He said, but it was clear to all of them that a bit of fear was on him now. They knew he had no desire to be fried.

"I have it under good authority you made no contact with your clan in Paris," Magnus said. He looked so horrible and tired, skinnier than any of them had ever seen him. He was dressed so plainly, in one of Alec's old crew neck shirts and a pair of dark washed jeans. It was like when Alec left all the color drained out of Magnus's life.

"I didn't know you were keeping tabs on me darling. That's terrible sweet of you," Julian said grinning. It was Clary that hit him this time, solidly across the face.

"You know where he is," She accused him. "I can see it in your eyes."

"I have no idea where he is, and that's the truth. This is a big waste of your time," Julian growled at her.

"Maybe it is, but you'll fry either way and I'll enjoy watching that," Isabelle answered him.

"You can't just kill me, you're an important Clave member," Julian said to her, though he didn't look so positive that she wouldn't kill him.

"No one would even know, and I'm more than sure no one would miss you," She told him sweetly. There was a silver flash in her hand and she raked her hand across his face again, leaving three shallow gashes that were smoking, making him cringe in his seat.

"I said I don't know where he is!" Julian shouted at her, and was met with another searing swipe from Isabelle. He thrashed in his chair for a moment. "You're just going to torture and kill me then?"

"I'm angry," Isabelle told him dangerously, taking a blessed dagger from her boot and burying it in his thigh. It smoked viciously, and he cried out in pain. No one made a move to stop her though, no one was in the mood to tell her it was too much.

"Stop!" He shrieked at her, panting in his pain, the strain of his wounds clear across his face. "I told you I don't know anything Isabelle please!"

She kicked him backwards again, waiting for Kyle and Maia to pick him up once more before taking another slash at him. Clary turned away from them, not wanting to see the gore, but needing to be there all the same. Magnus watched it all, cold and calculating, not feeling any sort of emotion towards Julian's torture.

"You're going to kill me," He said slumping forwards and laughing, like he just realized it to be a true fact. He tried to catch Isabelle's eye, to plead with her somehow, but she wouldn't meet his gaze.

"You have to understand, we've done everything. We used our favor with the Seelie Queen, we've been doing shakedowns and interrogations, everything! You're the only one left, the only one close enough to have known what happened to Alec. You're the end of the line, and if you don't tell me where he is I will still kill you, because I don't doubt for a second you had everything to do with it," Izzy told him, her voice quaking in anger. "Do you understand that?"

"Isabelle I swear, I don't know what happened to your brother," Julian huffed out, getting weaker. He would need to feed to help heal himself, and there was no chance that was going to happen. "I'll help you.." He went to say, but didn't get to finish the sentence as he was struck again.

"I don't believe you," Isabelle said laughing. "You know." She took the dagger and pressed it close to his throat, looking completely willing to do the deed.

"Don't make me tell you Iz," He said, meeting her eye. She pressed the dagger closer, her hands shaking violently. Julian never left her gaze, didn't think to back down again. "You're right I know what happened to him Isabelle, but I didn't want to be the one who told you."

"Tell me!" She shouted in his face, pressing the dagger until his throat started to hiss.

"He's dead!" He strained over the pain.

Isabelle stepped back from him then, her already pale face going even whiter as she dropped the dagger to the floor. She shook her head back and forth violently till she stumbled into Magnus's arms and sank to the floor. She let out a horrible sounding sob, clutching to the warlock with all the little strength she had left. Clary needed to be her strength just then and gathered up the dagger, going back over to Julian.

"How do you know that?" Clary asked, struggling to keep her own voice strong.

"One of Adelaide's old contacts sought revenge, came and took Alec in the night. He was brought to Paris, the downworlders are different there, more rebellious. He didn't even stand a chance. I tried to follow, to protect him for Isabelle," Julian said, and he looked and sounded sincere. But he was immortal and a known deceit, it would be easy for him to sell a convincing lie.

"Prove it," Clary insisted.

"Open up my coat and take of the gold chain around my throat, it's all the proof you'll need," He told her. "I planned on giving them back to Isabelle someday, just not in this fashion." Maia was the one that complied, her face a mask of rage and hate. She handed the chain over to Clary, who saw that two rings were on it. One of them a band of flames, and the other the engagement ring Magnus had given him.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Clary asked, eyes clouding over and voice going thick.

"I didn't know how," Julian answered in defeat. "I'm not exactly a friend of the family, and I figured his parabatai would have known."

"Jace has been mourning for a month," Clary let him know. "It was us that couldn't grasp it."

"His body?" Isabelle managed to ask through her tears. This was the second brother she lost, and it hit her even harder. She felt like nothing would ever be right again.

"It got torn to shreds Iz, I'm so sorry."

"How did you make it out? How did you get his rings?" Magnus asked, his voice sounding far away and hollow.

"Lift up my shirt," Julian asked of Maia, who snarled in return. Kyle complied this time, revealing a nasty scar down Julian's side. "I nearly died trying to save him."

Isabelle allowed herself a few more moments of weakness before using Magnus as a crutch to stand. She tried to pull herself together but knew she wouldn't manage for long. She eventually told Kyle and Maia to cut Julian lose and throw him out in the street, which they did gladly. When they were all alone again Isabelle managed to tell them that they would have a service for Alec as soon as possible, and for someone to keep tabs on Julian while he was still in the city. She took the rings from Clary after that, breaking the chain and handing back Magnus's engagement ring to him, pocketing the Lightwood ring for herself. After that Gwen and Molly took her back to the Institute.

 

((0))

 

_2 years later…_

 

"Momma!" Violet shrieked from the hallway. "Momma Uncle Kitty is here!"

Clary looked up from her book and out the large bay windows to where Magnus was strutting up the stone pathway to the little house. It had been a long time since she saw the warlock, a long time since her family had any sort of visitors besides her neighbors, who were a constant fixture here. Magnus wore a long black coat to help fight off the chill in the air, and a bright purple scarf was tied about his neck. She saw Violet run out to meet him, still in her pajamas.

"I'll go get a pot of tea," Tessa said and rose to leave the room as Clary set aside her book and went to meet Magnus at the door. His green cat eyes lit up when he saw her, and she smiled and ran to him to, hugging him tightly.

"It's been a long time stranger," Clary teased him, leading him into the house. Violet had already attached herself to his back.

"Well if you didn't move to another country the trip would be easier on me," Magnus said laughing, following Clary into the drawing room. "Where is Jace?"

"He and Jem went to the London Institute this weekend," Clary told him, helping untangle Violet from his back. She was shooting up like a weed, and had none of her mother's short genes in her.

"How's he holding up?" Magnus asked, taking a seat and removing his coat.

"He's easing back into it," Clary explained, taking a seat as well. "I think it's harder for him then he lets on, but Jem and Tessa have been a big help."

"Why thank you I try," Tessa said entering the room, setting the tea tray down on a table and going to embrace Magnus brightly. "It's good to see you again."

"Pretty as the day I met you," Magnus said smiling.

"What about me?" Violet asked giggling.

"Prettiest girl in the world," Magnus said winking.

"Violet why don't you go play with Lily in the nursery?" Clary asked, shooing her daughter out of the room so the adults could speak in private. She didn't look like she wanted to go but she obeyed anyways, leaving the three of them alone.

"How are things in New York?" Clary asked finally.

"Good, Isabelle has the Institute running like a militia, Constantine and I have been doing good Clave work, everything's in perfect order," Magnus said. It was what he always said when he saw her. It wasn't much detail, but then again it never was.

"So what do we thank for the visit?" Tessa asked, setting out everyone's cups for them.

"Just as a warning I guess," Magnus said laughing and rubbing at a temple.

"What do you mean?" Clary wanted to know.

"Isabelle is coming to England," Magnus told her more seriously. "She told me, and this is a direct quote, that 'Jace and Clary have spent enough time away from reality, they can't keep my family away from me forever.' She didn't seem very pleased with you as of late."

"She heard about my pregnancy then," Clary guessed.

"You're already showing, there's no way you would have been able to hide it from her regardless," Magnus told her. "We all miss you."

"I know," Clary said sadly. "You know how hard things were on Jace. He just snapped when it was all said and done."

Magnus didn't have to ask what it was, he knew, and he knew she was thinking about it too now. Alec's death had torn the whole family apart. Isabelle didn't leave her room for a straight month, Magnus sunk into a sort of madness that he still had trouble keeping at bay, and Jace took his family and moved them to England. There was an entire year where none of them spoke to each other, everyone in too much pain to do much of anything. But time kept going on, as it always does, and they had to pull themselves together. So Magnus and Isabelle threw themselves into their work, and Jace and Clary got pregnant again while getting close to Jem and Tessa, who had known more about Jace's roots than he did.

"Your parabatai needs you Clary, you know this isn't fair on us," Magnus told her evenly. She got to her feet, losing her temper was something she did a lot these days, kind of like old times.

"Don't you think I know that? We can't go home okay? You didn't see him the night before the service, I've never been so afraid of him in my life! Violet still has nightmares about it, by the Angel he almost burnt our building down, and you want me to drag him back there?" Clary asked angrily, her voice rising.

"He's not the only one who hurt Clarissa," Magnus reminded her. "So now you're just going to let him hide from it all? What of your daughters? What of your unborn child? Are they going to be raised thinking they are normal, thinking their parents aren't shadowhunters? Do you want me to hide those memories from them like your mother made me do to you?"

Clary slapped him, she couldn't help it. She felt sorry after, but he had stepped too far. It was too true not to hurt. Jace had told her a hundred times he didn't want the girls to grow up in the life he grew up in, in the life that took Alec and Max. That killed fathers he thought were his, that shook his entire world to the core. Clary hadn't disagreed entirely, but neither could she fully support it. She couldn't pretend they didn't have the blood of the Angel, that they weren't destined for greatness.

"We can't come home," Clary said quietly, turning her back on her old friend.

"Isabelle needs you Clary," Magnus told her. "You'll see when she gets here that she's not the same. She is all hunter now, harsh and dangerous. The beings she consorts with are dangerous too. She's on a path to destruction, she has nothing to hold onto, nothing to remind her what's good in her life. If you and the girls were there maybe she would see reason."

"What kind of dangerous people?" Clary asked over her shoulder.

"I hear whispers that she's in bed with Julian Lizare," Magnus said, saying his name like a curse. "I mean that literally."

"Him?" Tessa asked distastefully. "I hate that rat."

"He tried to save Alec," Clary said reasonably.

"So he says," Magnus muttered. It wasn't like he didn't check, but his story turned out to be true, according to his connections in Paris.

"Well if she wants to be with him who am I to stop her?" Clary asked.

"I don't believe you mean that," Magnus told her. "I don't think you mean that at all."

"What else am I supposed to say? How am I ever going to convince Jace to go back to New York? I don't know how to deal with all this Magnus, and I can't hold everyone together like I used to. We're all too broken," Clary said, a few tears spilling down her cheeks. Tessa went to her, hugging her about the shoulders. They had become very close the time they had spent as neighbors.

"I'll talk to Jem, he has a way with words. I'm sure he can talk to Jace about all this," Tessa told her softly.

"You better call them and tell them to get back here tonight," Magnus warned her. "Isabelle will be here in the morning."

 

((0))

 

Isabelle and Clary went for a walk under the noonday sun, hoping to get some warmth in their bones against the chill wind. They walked hand in hand, smiling and happy to see each other. Though they both had much on their minds that was waiting to be said. Magnus had been right, Izzy was different. She was thinner, and meaner looking. Almost the vision of her mother these days. She was also distant, and more guarded. Clary was scared for her.

"I'm glad you came," Clary said to break the silence.

"I'd never see you if I didn't," Isabelle said, her voice had a bitter edge to it.

"I know," Clary admitted. "I'm sorry we haven't been home to visit."

"I knew you wouldn't anyways, as soon as you left I felt like it was goodbye," Isabelle told her. "No one even had to die for me to lose my parabatai."

"That's not fair Iz, you know I'm always there for you," Clary tried to tell her, feeling the conversation spinning out of her control.

"Where have you been? Because last I remember I've been alone for two years," Isabelle snapped.

"You had the Institute, Molly, Gwen, Magnus, they were there for you," Clary tried to tell her.

"Like I give a shit about any of them!" Isabelle shouted. "They're not my family."

"Magnus is family," Clary reminded her sternly, and Isabelle had the grace to look properly chastised at that. "We love you Iz, I never meant for things to get so bad. You know what happened with Jace, he hasn't been the same since."

"None of us have," Isabelle said distantly.

"You're right," Clary told her. They walked along in silence a bit more before Clary told her the news. "We are coming home Izzy. I had Tessa tell Jem to convince Jace."

Isabelle stopped dead in her tracks, her face breaking into a smile that reminded Clary of days long gone. Days when they were all truly happy. "You are? You promise?"

"Jace didn't like it at first but," Clary paused for a moment. She was going to say he made up his mind when he saw Izzy, but decided it wasn't best to let her know the change in her was obvious. "But then he changed his mind."

"The girls?" Isabelle asked hopefully.

"Well Violet is in school, so it will take us a bit to get everything organized. We are going to have to pack up the house and say goodbye to Jem and Tess, but by the end of the month we'll all be home. I promise."

Isabelle crushed Clary in a hug, tears coming freely. "Thank you."

 

((0))

 

_Paris_

He couldn't stop staring at her all night, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He couldn't deny being drawn to her more than he had been to anyone ever. It was almost like a gravitational pull. Her smile was full of charm and lust, her body spoke of perfection, her eyes were hypnotic. She had to be wearing some kind of wig, her hair long to the floor and the color of amethyst. Her skin was so pale, looked so soft and flawless. He needed her, and before he knew what he was truly doing, he was across the crowded room, standing before her like a lost puppy.

"Hi," He said stupidly.

"Hello darling," She purred, her voice sweet as honey.

"Do you dance," He asked, jerking his head over his shoulder to the writhing bodies on the small wooden floor, lights playing above them. She gave a soft laugh and rolled her eyes.

"No."

"Can I get you a drink?"

"No," She answered him. She rose from her seat with a sigh and made her way to the backdoor. When she realized he wasn't following her she turned and looked at him over a shoulder, motioning with a finger for him to come to her. He nearly ran.

The back door to the club led to a small dirt lined alley, trash and filth everywhere. It smelt horrible, and she seemed so terribly out of place there. When he came out behind her she slammed the door to the club and pushed him into the wall. He couldn't help but think he was getting sucked into something as she started kissing his neck.

"Slow down honey," He told her, while trying to control his lust. "How much?"

She laughed deliciously. "Oh darling boy, you couldn't even buy me with your life. But that's what you will pay."

He heard the sound of footsteps in the alley and turned to see a manly figure making his way over. He tried to push the woman away from him, but found she was as immovable as stone, her skin cold to the touch. Suddenly she didn't seem so beautiful to him, she looked like a predator. Her eyes were hungry, and he could now see large fangs poking out of her mouth. The man was getting closer to them and he felt like a trapped mouse.

When the man came under the lamplight he could make out his features. Pale like her, perhaps even more so. He had black hair that was windblown and down to his shoulders, with eyes that were shockingly blue. He had scars on the visible parts of his skin, and he too had large fangs in his mouth. He approached the woman with the purple hair and caressed her neck for a moment.

"He's beautiful," The man whispered to her.

"I knew you would like him," She replied. "Let's take him home."

"Why take him home? Let me sake my hunger and my lust right here," He said, leaning in close and sniffing the man's neck.

"We must practice caution," She said curtly. "Remember the rules."

"Fine," The man said, exacting a pout. "Knock him out and be done with it. We're dangerously close to lycan territory."

"Hunting is just so easy on this side of the city," The woman said laughing, the laughter seemed to ring like bells all around him. "Goodnight sweetheart," She told him, and everything went black.


	3. The Broken Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Trigger Warning: Abuse/Domestic Violence]

Isabelle stood and lit her cigarette, going to the window and throwing it open wide to the cool night breeze. She felt relaxed of body, but her mind was everywhere. Clary and Jace would be home tomorrow, and she still hadn't told Julian. Still hadn't made up her mind on the dangerous choices she had been going over and over again in her mind. She felt like she didn't owe anyone any explanations. She didn't really open up to people anymore anyways, didn't trust a soul with her secrets. She knew her façade was cracking though, and she knew people were starting to guess that something was wrong with her. She didn't care, let them guess and guess again, nobody but her knew the truth.

She felt icy hands on her shoulders, making her shiver agreeably. "I should be going soon," She told him, not bothering to even look at him.

"Why would you do that?" Julian asked teasingly. "We still have four more hours of night."

"I have a big day at the Institute tomorrow," She said off handedly.

"Let Gwen handle it, she could use the practice right?" He asked her, dipping his head down and licking her neck. Isabelle shuddered at the touch.

"I have to be there," She insisted, trying to ignore the way his hands roamed her body freely. He was a good distraction, had been for the better part of two years. He helped her forget.

"Why won't you tell me what's going on?" He asked, pulling away from her. Isabelle flicked her cigarette ash and ignored him. "C'mon Iz, you have to let me in sometime."

"No I don't," She told him sternly.

"I thought you loved me," He said, flashing her a brilliant smile that was all fangs and lust, predator and seducer. She didn't love him though, she couldn't really. He was just her drug of choice.

"Don't be an idiot," She said, chastising him. "If you must know, Clary comes home tomorrow."

"Why?" He asked, pulling a face. "Why would they come back here?"

"Because I need them here," She told him angrily.

"What will it matter in the end? It's only going to cause them more pain. I thought you were trying to distance yourself from everyone so the transition would be easier," He reminded her. That had been the original plan, but Izzy wasn't so sure anymore. She thought day in and day out about what she would be giving up, what she would be leaving behind. Some days she did want to leave it all, others she wanted to cling to it.

"I think Jace should be the one that replaces me," She told him, a small sliver of truth. "Gwen isn't prepared for it, and she can barely make her way around the city. The new Head should be someone who spent the better part of their life here, who spent their childhood in the Institute halls."

"I thought Jace was a looney now," Julian said bluntly. "That won't go over well."

"Then it should be Clary if he can't do it," She snapped back, sick of having this conversation already.

"Fair enough," He replied, sensing he was pushing her too much. "You still want to go through with this right? You were the one who asked Isabelle."

"I know I did, but I still need time," She said to him, throwing her cigarette out the window and going to find her clothes. He followed after her like a shadow.

"Time for what? I've given you nothing but time, and you always come with some new excuse to postpone it. I'm sick of waiting for you. If you truly want to die and be reborn, if you want to spend all your nights with me and leave this all behind, like  _you_  begged me to that night, than I need to know now," He told her, his voice menacing.

"Well I can't answer you now," She shot back, zipping up her boots and grabbing for her jacket. "I told you I need more time."

"You can't string me along forever," He warned her. "By the end of the week I'm gone, and you're either with me, or you're here living your depressive existence."

"You can leave if you want," She said sweetly. "Do you think you're the only vampire I know in this city? The only lover I can go to?"

He flew at her, grabbing her by the neck and pinning her to the wall. She knew it would make him angry even to hint at what she was, but she couldn't help pushing all Julian's buttons. It was so easy after all. His fangs split his bottom lip, and he had his stone cold body pinning her where she stood. Somehow things were always like this with him, but it was what kept her here in the present. It was the only outflow for her aggression, her passion. It was delicious to her, even though she knew it was always dangerous.

"Don't even say it," He growled at her. "You're not going to him."

"Why should I be with you anyways, when I can be with  _Simon_ ," She said, sighing his name between her lips, making Julian tremble in rage. "He's a clan leader after all, and what do you have but dust and memories?"

He pulled her forwards and slammed her into the wall with enough force to make her breathless. His fingers were wrapping too tightly around her throat, he could crush her so easily. She couldn't say she would really try and stop him if he tried.

"I could force it on you Izzy," He hissed at her.

"You won't," She gasped out, and just like that he let her go and sprang away from her. She rubbed her throat for a second before turning to the door and throwing it open.

"Tell Clary I said hello," He told her as she was slamming the door behind her.

 

((0))

 

"Magnus are you listening to me?" He heard Clara ask. He hadn't been listening in fact, but knew she had been talking for the better part of twenty minutes. His mind was a hundred years away at this point, but he called himself back to the present and smiled at her, nodding.

"I heard you, I'm just distracted," He told her tiredly.

"It's okay," She said deflated. "A guy can fuck you on your balcony but won't even listen to how your day was. Typical."

"Clara," He said, reaching for her, but she pulled away and went to put on her robe. She was a young werewolf with olive skin and beautiful yellow green eyes. He had only met her a few months ago, but she was only one of Magnus's lovers these days. He typically buried his memories and sorrow in strangers and into his work. If he wasn't constantly doing something he was afraid he would start losing his touch with reality, start slipping into the madness Alec's death had brought on. He tried everything he could to forget, but he had a sharp and vivid memory of it above all else.

"It's okay Magnus, I don't expect much from you. Just look pretty and make sure you leave by morning and I'm satisfied," She told him grinning.

"You going out on patrol tonight?" He asked her, sitting up on the bed with his eyes searching for his clothes. She handed him his pants, knowing that he was getting ready to leave.

"Yeah, your friend Constantine asked me to sniff out a smuggling ring that's been giving the Institute trouble. Some warlock mixing demon powders and mundane drugs and making a tidy profit from it," She said, getting dressed herself.

"Sounds unsavory," He said.

"Yeah well someone's gotta clean up these streets," She told him grinning. "I have to go, lock up when you leave?"

"I will," He said to her and watched her make her way out of the room. "Hey Clara," He called after her. She poked her head back into the room for a moment.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not asking questions," He said to her with a smirk.

"It's not my place," She said with a knowing smile. "Take care of yourself Magnus."

He left not long after that, not wanting to linger in Clara's apartment. He kept things impersonal with everyone he fooled around with, he just wasn't capable of putting too much into anything. His thoughts were pretty dark as he made his way back to the Institute, walking through the streets at night sometimes cleared his mind. He had been living at the Institute for about six months now, under Constantine's supervision and care. It was Constantine in fact who had helped him keep a cap on his crazy after what happened two years ago. Magnus couldn't thank him enough for all the things he did for him over that time, and it more than made up for all that nasty business with Adelaide a while back. When he finally got home he noticed he wasn't the only one sneaking in late at night.

"Hey Isabelle," He said casually as he trailed her up the stairs. She whipped around quickly, whip at the ready in the blink of an eye. When she saw it was just Magnus though, she relaxed, and then looked guilty. This wasn't the first time something like this has happened.

"You startled me," was all she said.

"Just getting home?" He asked sarcastically while following her into the Institute.

"I had a hunt," She said, which he instantly knew for a lie.

"Oh yeah me too," He told her.

"I see," She said, not baiting into him. They rode the elevator up in silence, but when the doors opened neither of them expected to see Constantine standing there, Church sitting by his feet. He looked everything like a scolding father waiting to discipline his errant children.

"I need to talk to the two of you," He said to them. "Immediately."

He turned from them and made his way to the library. Magnus and Isabelle shared an unsure glance but trailed behind him all the same. Constantine was an ancient warlock who was smarter than the two of them by far, and exceptionally more powerful. He earned their respect over time, and was now a constant fixture at the Institute, completely welcomed by the Clave. He was technically supposed to work the Infirmary as a healer, but became more of Isabelle's advisor instead, a wealth of valuable knowledge. When they entered the library he whirled on them angrily.

"I've been trying to reach you all night Isabelle," He shot at her.

"I was busy," She said back, eyes hard.

"I can see that, like to get choked do we?" He asked her, gesturing to her throat. There was undoubtedly a bruised ring around it, finger prints obvious.

"That's none of your business," She warned him.

"You're correct, by all means ride that dirty mule from dusk till dawn if it pleases you. But don't forget you are the leader of this Institution and that should come before all else," He said to her, never raising his voice but his anger clear in his tone.

"I don't need a lecture from you," She said back.

"Someone needs to make you see reason Isabelle, what you're doing is dangerous."

"Why don't you chastise him," She said, her voice elevating as she jerked a thumb at Magnus. "He gets to fuck half the downworlders and you're mad because I see one?"

"You have a responsibility to the Clave!" He shouted at her.

"What do you care? You're not even a shadowhunter!"

"I care because you're throwing your life away!" He told her. "There are dangers on the horizon that you need to stay ahead of."

"What kind of dangers?" Magnus cut in, trying to lead the conversation from the fight that was erupting. Constantine looked to him, eyes going dark and troubled.

"Adelaide is back," He told him seriously, sobering the three of them instantly.

"I watched her die," Magnus said evenly, but his head was spinning. Her name being said aloud, the possibility that she had come back, it brought him back to Alec instantly. Of the things they went through because of this woman. Of how not long after she died, he lost Alec forever. He looked to Isabelle who had gone pale, and knew she was thinking the same.

"It's impossible," She whispered.

"I have connections that run to the very core of Paris's underworld," Constantine said gently. "I spent hundreds of years there. I know creatures that even the Clave doesn't know exist. A friend of mine came calling today saying they saw the Enchantress in a nightclub. They gave a perfect description of her, right down to the violet hair."

"It could have been a different warlock," Magnus said, knowing it went against reason.

"It wasn't a warlock," Constantine told him.

"Then what was it?" Isabelle wanted to know.

"She was luring a victim. I'm going to go ahead and guess that she is a vampire," He told them, which was all the information either of them needed. If Adelaide had been transformed into a vampire, then that means she hadn't spent the last two years lying in her cursed grave. It all tied in to the man that was supposed to have killed her. The one Magnus had watched rip out her throat.

"Julian," Magnus growled. "That bastard I knew we shouldn't have trusted him!"

"That can't be," Isabelle said in a daze, though the pieces were coming together in her mind just as they were in Magnus's.

"He played us all the fools," Constantine said. "I believe he came to New York all that time ago not to hunt Adelaide, but as her backup plan. I think she may have invited him here because she knew Magnus might deny her sanctuary. After her hellhound killed Callista Starwell she knew she was in too deep, and that now the Clave would hunt her. What better way to go into hiding than to change your very identity? She faked her death, killed herself, and was reborn a child of night."

"Then Julian is her sire," Isabelle said breathlessly. "I'm such an idiot! That's why he went back to Paris! Not to help Alec but to take care of his new fledgling! He probably just watched Alec die and did nothing, bringing me that stupid ring so I would trust him. Why would he do that?" She asked, in tears by the end.

"Because he means to take you as a mate," Magnus said. "He set his sights on you the day he met you."

"I think you're right," Constantine told them both. "There is another possibility in all this that you should think on as well. Julian has been lying since day one, about everything. He could very well be lying about the way that Alec died, or if he did at all."

"Alec could still be alive," Magnus concluded, not able to fully grip the idea.

"He could be, or he could be something very different. You might not like the creature you find. The rumor was the purple haired siren had been working the clubs for a long time. Sometimes with a black haired man with a pale scarred body and blue eyes. It could be him. There is only one way to know and that all depends on you Isabelle," Constantine told her.

"Why me?" She asked, still crying silently.

"Julian trusts you correct? If we are to learn the truth you need to get close to him, closer than you are now. You need to make him believe that you are completely his," He said to her.

"If Alec could still be out there, I will do whatever it takes," She vowed.

"Don't get your hopes up Isabelle," He said to her sincerely, laying a hand on her shoulder. "This will be a dark path, and we might come into nothing but danger and pain when we walk it. It could all be for nothing, Alec could truly already be gone."

"But there is a chance he might still be out there right? Even if it's a small one I have to take it," She told him earnestly.

"Just be prepared Isabelle, I don't desire to see you hurt in all this. When Jace and Clary come home tomorrow we must tell them this straight away and form our plans. We all need to be ready," Constantine said to her.

 

((0))

 

"I'm getting sleepy," Adelaide purred from the blood soaked bed. They were deep underground, away from all natural light. The chamber was stone and cold, covered with blood stains and gore. It was their feeding ground.

"Then go to sleep," He said to her.

"Won't you come lay with me Alexander? Let me put you at your ease," She articulated in her musical voice. He looked over a shoulder at her, but didn't turn and go to her.

"You can't please me that way Addy," He told her sternly.

"How would you know if you never let me try?" She pouted, her pale bareness glowing in the flickering flame from the chandelier.

"If it were possible I would have ravaged you ages ago," He teased her.

"You are positively evil," She told him. He made his way over to her eventually, lying next to her in the cold blood from their takings this night. He let her snuggle up next to him, though it brought him no pleasure. He knew it was hard for her to be alone, especially with a man that couldn't be attracted to her. She was the type of woman who was used to being worshipped. He cared for her like she was his sister, and she had been kind to him in the beginning, when the hunger completely controlled him. She had hunted with him and for him, making his transition easy. In return he offered her whatever small comforts he could. They had been down here for nearly two years, waiting for their sire to return.

"How much longer must we wait?" He asked her. He had asked her countless times before.

"We have many more years to wait Alexander, you know it isn't safe for you out there," She told him again. She had also told him that many times.

"These people that are hunting me won't find me here," He surmised. "How often do we go out hunting and I return safe and sound? This place is like a prison."

"I keep you safe from them," She told him. "If we did whatever we pleased out in the naked night they would find you in days and destroy you. You know this Alexander," She told him seriously. "You are the first of your kind, they will not understand you, and what the Clave doesn't understand it destroys. Or worse, some warlock will get ahold of you and dissect you to know the secrets of your creation. We don't want that either."

He shuddered at the thought of that. As much as he hated the life of the sanctuary, he hated the thought of never being able to truly live. He knew Adelaide was right, that he wouldn't survive in the real world, but he yearned for it so. To explore and be free and hunt wherever he wanted. His primal instincts were hard to keep in check, and he felt like a caged animal at times. His bloodlust could get so strong that he would even attack Adelaide, though he knew it wouldn't quench him.

"I want to go out in the day tomorrow," He told her. She sat up in bed, her nails digging into his side, though he no longer truly felt pain.

"It is forbidden," She reminded him. "You are only allowed to go if I accompany you, and I cannot follow you into the sunlight."

"I will be safe," He tried to tell her.

"Absolutely not, I will call sire if you even think on it," She said angrily. Alexander shot out of bed and shoved her away from him.

"Good, call Julian! Tell him I cannot live like this anymore!" He snapped.

"You're not alive!" She shrieked at him. "You cannot leave until we understand your condition."

"My condition is death, you just said it yourself! My mind is tearing itself apart, trying to remember what this body's life was like before I woke, before I was a monster!" He shouted at her.

"And what do you remember?" She asked, trying to calm herself.

"Nothing! I always remember nothing," He growled. "But my body won't stop trying, trying to recall something I know is important! Julian can't help me anymore, he will never understand me."

"You need to let it go," She begged him. "You will never find happiness if you live in the past."

"I want you to take me to Zane," He told her quietly. Now she rose from the bed too, coming over to him. "He made my existence possible right? Maybe he could ease my mind."

"Alexander no," She said sweetly, reaching up and cupping his face between her hands. "Do you love me brother? Have I not kept you happy?"

"You know I do," He said to her, trying not to meet her eyes.

"Then you have to trust me. Zane will lead to no happiness, there is a plan for you sweet boy and it will be grand and wonderful," She promised him. She ran her hands down his neck and torso, lingering over the scars that were littering his body. The bid ugly ones from where limbs had been torn from him, and the small faded ones from where his runes had once been. Adelaide remembered all, remembered when he had been a man. Now he was something more, something unique, and all her vengeance would be wrought through him.


	4. The Third Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long to update, my life has been a complete wreck and I lost my inspiration for this story. I recently started re-reading the series and found it again though, this chapter might be a bit rough as I am getting back into the swing of things, and there are a few details I'm asking you to just kind of go with. Thank you for reading and I love and adore you.

They all sat in Constantine’s office across from the Infirmary. It was a spacious and high ceilinged room, though you couldn’t see any of the wall space, and most of the floor. Every square inch was covered in books and plants, charts, vials, a perfect replica of the human skeleton, and to top it all off Church had made this his new favorite haunt, watching them all from atop an overstuffed glass cabinet. The ancient warlock sat behind his desk and watched as the information processed very differently between Clary and Jace.

“How the hell did you get in bed with this fuck?” Jace said, whirling on Isabelle.

“You don’t have a right to talk to me like that anymore,” She hissed. “This isn’t my fault, I’m not the only one that trusted him.”

“But you’re the only one that’s fucking him,” Jace shot back.

“Excuse me for being lonely! You left me here and he was the only one there for me! I had no idea-“ She tried to say more but was cut off.

“No idea what? That you couldn’t trust him? That was the first thing Magnus told you when you were introduced to him!” Jace shouted, then turned to the warlock himself. “And I thought you checked with your sources in Paris. I thought you confirmed Alec was dead!”

“I did,” Magnus said evenly. “Do you think if there was a chance he was still alive that I would have given up the search? I would still be out there right now if I had any reason to believe he was alive.”

“Well obviously you’re losing your touch! It seems Constantine should be the one we’re putting our faith in these days!” Jace said accusingly.

“Losing my touch?!” Magnus roared, rising to his feet and accidently making the lightbulbs in the room implode. “When’s the last time you picked up a blade Jace? When’s the last time you were even on a hunt? You turned your back on your family and on your duty.”

Jace went to fly at Magnus but Clary jumped from her seat and blocked his path. He stopped for a second, preparing to move her aside but she wouldn’t have it. She reached out and shoved Jace back into the wall, turning at Magnus and holding up a finger to stop the warlock from doing anything stupid.

“Sit down!” She ordered. “Both of you! We don’t even know that Alec is still alive and we can’t kill each other over the small possibility that it could be true! Stop pointing the finger at everyone but yourselves. We all messed up in some way, his death effected all of us. So let’s sit down and start from the beginning. Isabelle gets the floor first.”

Jace still looked like he wanted to kill something, but listened to his wife and remained in his seat. After a minute Magnus sat too, folding his hands in his lap and concentrating to get himself back under control. When he noticed the broken glass on the floor he replaced the lightbulbs with the snap of a finger and Isabelle started to speak.

“After you guys left I had no one,” She whispered. “I know I made a mistake going to him. I did something really stupid.”

“No kidding,” Jace muttered.

“Shut up! You don’t know how dark it got for me!” She shouted, then calmed herself with a few breaths. “I didn’t go to him with any romantic intent at all, but Simon already turned me down and he was the only one I knew would say yes.”

“Izzy what are you talking about?” Clary asked, the worry making her eyes huge and round. She rushed and knelt in front of Isabelle, taking her hands.

“I wanted to die,” She told them all, making Clary tear up instantly, the guilt of leaving had been eating her inside the entire time. “I couldn’t do it myself, and I didn’t want to truly die. I wanted to be able to see Violet and Lily grow up, I wanted to still be here. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore, I didn’t want to be a shadowhunter. I went to Julian and begged him to turn me.”

“That’s what you’ve been doing with him?” Clary asked, tears rolling freely down her face. “I knew I should have stayed.”

“It’s not your fault Clary,” she told her. “I thought I knew what I wanted. I trusted him and he used me.”

“Do you still feel that way?” Clary demanded to know, she couldn’t bear the thought of losing Isabelle. They were sisters.

“I don’t know what to feel anymore Clary, nothing makes sense. I just want to be at peace and every day I realize more and more that it will never happen for me,” Izzy admitted sadly.

“I’m never leaving you again,” Clary promised her. “We’ve all lost too much already, the idea that I could lose you too is more painful than anything you can imagine. I won’t let it happen, I just won’t!”

“I need answers then, I need to find out the truth about Alec,” Iz told her.

“We’ll find it together, all of us. I promise,” Clary told her, and turned half way towards Constantine. “Do we have a plan? How do we go about this?”

Magnus and Jace were both stunned into silence by Isabelle’s confession, but the other warlock had a calculating look to his eye. Something she said had triggered his brain and he was thrumming his fingers across the desk in thought.

“What I’m thinking is that Isabelle should pretend to go through with the plan. Does Julian know that Jace and Clary were returning today?” He asked her.

“Yes, he wasn’t very pleased about it,” She told him.

“Go to him tonight, pretend this whole thing didn’t go well for you, make up some story that would sound like you had a falling out with them. Perhaps that you even relinquished your position here. If I know anything about Julian it’s that he likes it when a woman needs him, so you must play like you are going to him for sanctuary,” Constantine advised.

“That’s dangerous,” Magnus warned him.

“Have you ever met a shadowhunter more capable of handling themselves than our Isabelle? She can most certainly protect herself from him,” He reassured them. “The key would be to convince him that you don’t want to be changed here. You must get him to take you back to Paris. We can put a tracking rune on you, and that could lead us right to his hideout there. Right to where Alec may or may not be.”

“And if Alec is there? What if it’s a trap? We have no idea what we could be walking into, we could be vastly outnumbered,” Jace piped up.

“Julian seems to be doing whatever he is doing at a slow pace, I doubt he has a nest of vipers waiting back in Paris, it would attract too much attention to Adelaide,” Constantine said, but he hesitated with the words, as if he too was not sure what could be waiting for them when they go there.

“It’s the only plan that makes sense,” Isabelle said in her defense. “We can’t just go stomping around Paris, it would be too suspicious. I think the idea is as solid as anything we have right now.”

“I just can’t shake the feeling we are going into this completely blind,” Jace said aloud, and none of them could really disagree with that.

 

((0))

 

The room was dark and still, the two beings in it had not moved for several hours. Adelaide laid luxuriously across the bed while Alexander sat in the corner. It had been a tense day, both of them restless, angry and ready to strike like a pair of lions locked in a cage for much too long. The purple haired woman had no idea about the struggle going on in her companions mind right now. He was struggling to remember anything, literally anything at all. Sometimes he felt like something was scratching desperately to the surface, but when he tried to touch it, the things would dissipate like smoke.

So instead of trying to remember anymore, he started to plot. He had no desire to hurt her, he truly did not, but he couldn’t let her control him anymore. Like a loving slave master. She answered to someone higher, to Julian, but they had not seen the sire in such a long time, he couldn’t even recall his face. The thing that kept jumping out to him was Zane. He couldn’t help but feel that the warlock was the only answer. He needed to get to him, needed to beg him to fix his mind. He was not sure how much longer he could go on being this way before he truly did damage to himself or Adelaide.

He stood and crossed the room quietly, crawling into the bed with her and laying his head on her chest. She lazily threw on arm on his back and started tracing the jagged and delicate scars that were there, humming him a soothing song.

“Are you hungry dearest? Do you desire to go out and hunt?” She asked him softly.

“No, not hungry,” He said, and then startled her when he sat up hastily, and then straddled her body. He moved with such a liquid grace, with such a sudden velocity, that she couldn’t help but throw up her guard. She thought he meant to attack her, but was pleasantly surprised when he reached down and kissed her neck.

“What has gotten into you?” She said with a sigh as he raked his teeth across her flesh.

“Curiosity,” He replied, low in his throat. She nearly forgotten that he was a predator too, not the love-struck shadowhunter she had met all that time ago. She didn’t think that he would ever do her harm, or be capable of doing it, so she foolishly let her guard down. Melted into his touch, it had been such a long time for her, so busy was she of taking care of his needs, her own had been neglected far too long.

Alexander’s guard was never down though, his plan was in motion all too easily. As soon as she closed her eyes and let her body go limp and wanting to him, he grabbed her head and brought it up with great force into the large stone headboard. He didn’t try to do it so hard that it would crush her skull, but just hard enough that she would be sent into a blackout for long enough so that he could escape on his own. He would make it up later to her, that is if he hadn’t just accidently killed her. It wasn’t as if he could check for a pulse. She had gone extremely still though. He would deal with it all when he got back.

 

((0))

 

 Julian answered his door in nothing more than a black silk robe, hanging on just barely to his body. He didn’t look happy to see her, but moved aside and let her enter regardless. His place was still dark, as if he had perhaps just woken up and not bothered to start his night yet. It was still early for him that was true. Isabelle hated that she knew her way around here, even in the blackness, and maneuvered deftly to turn on an old oil lamp he kept between his empty bookshelves. He locked the door behind her and sat on the fraying old couch while she sat across from him on the other.

“Happy family reunion?” He asked her as if he couldn’t care less. She knew she had to play this part perfectly, he would know instantly if her behavior changed.

“What do you care?” She shot at him angrily. “It went exactly as you would have hoped it went. They couldn’t even look me in the eye, both of them demanding that I step down as Head of the Institute.”

She saw the corner of his mouth twitch, almost to a smile but not quite getting there. She hated letting him think that he was right, about giving him any more power than she already had over the past two years. Seeing Jace and Clary again was like being a ship who finally made it to harbor after a treacherous journey across the foggy sea. Like waking up from the longest nightmare.

“What do you plan to do?” He asked her.

“I’m not going back, if that’s what you mean,” She murmured to him. It was then that he seemed to notice the bag at her feet, and the strange fact that she seemed to be totally unarmed. A small fire lit in his eyes, and it made her sick to her stomach. He crossed the room like a breeze, taking her face between his icy palms and forcing her, gently, to stand before him. Searching her eyes with his own, til he seemed to find what he was looking for.

“Does this mean..?” He let the question trail off, a strange hopefulness to his voice she was certain she had never heard before. She gave one short nod, then pitched herself forward against his stone-like chest and began sobbing. It was something she could do on command these days, something that always seemed ready to bubble to the surface. She clung to him desperately, to keep from sinking to the ground. _That’s right you fool, think that you have me now._

“I’m a stranger to them!” She wept out. “I just want this all to end, let me belong to the night!”

She had made similar protestations when she came to him that first time. She felt his grip on her loosen as he pulled her to arm’s length to peer into her face again. It was his face that was different this time, softer than she had ever seen him be. There was a look in his eyes of a deep love that was terrifying. She hated him for it instantly.

“We can do it right now my darling, I will take care of you,” He promised her. She shook her head violently and some of the hardness returned to his face. She knew he was about to scream at her, so she surged forward with Constantine’s plan, hoping the warlock had given her a good enough one to find the answers that had been long since driving her mad.

“Not here,” She told him. “I want to be somewhere beautiful. Somewhere that when I wake in the naked night our love can be born with me.”

The glint in his eye was mischievous, as if he was hoping she would say something like that. She knew she had him now, that he would undoubtedly take her to Paris. Just as he thought all his plans were falling into place, she knew for certain that hers were. As he said the city’s name aloud she agreed with all her heart, and even rewarded him with what she hoped was a loving smile. She knew he would act on it quickly, before she could think to change her mind. All she could think of in that moment was Alec. Of his blue eyes, his face that was like hers, the special laugh he only used to share with the ones he loved. She longed to hear it now, she wanted it more than anything.

 

((0))

 

The night had been a frantic and desperate one. Alexander had been lying, he had in fact been very hungry, and his hunt was a vicious and cruel thing, but he felt no remorse in it. He had trouble feeling anything as it was. After that the real hunt began, the one to find Zane. He had no idea how to get to the warlock on his own, and the downworld of Paris was not a friendly thing in the least. He had to conceal his identity, and doing that made it harder to find what he was looking for. Now that he had though, standing in the blackened alley outside of Zane’s home, he was more hesitant than ever.

The door was tiny and nondescript. It seemed not to be made for a creature of normal size at all. Alexander pounded on the door before he lost his nerve and went running back to Adelaide, begging her forgiveness and hoping she would accept him back. He waited in the shadows as a small latch on the door opened and a single red tinged eye peeped out.

“Who goes there?” Came the gravelly voice, one that sparked, or tried to at least, something in Alexander’s memory. In response the man stepped forward and lowered his hood, making the red eye on the other side go wide in wonder. “It’s you!”

The latch shut quickly, followed by the sound of several locks grinding open, and a small pulse of power washing over the door. Eventually it was thrown open to reveal the warlock, who was much smaller than Alexander remembered him to be. He was wearing blue striped pajamas with slippers in the shapes of fish, with his shockingly orange hair in wild disarray. He had two dark eyes, and a third red eye blinking out of sync with the others.

“You remember me?” Alexander inquired.

“How could I forget my greatest accomplishment?” Zane exclaimed. “Get in off the street boy before somebody sees you!”

Alexander had to duck to comply, but made it into the tiny home just the same. He couldn’t quite say he remembered this strange place. It looked like it had been decorated in four different centuries by a complete madman, which he was sure was exactly the case. Zane scurried around him and grabbed his hand, leading him to an overstuffed armchair by a fire that was on its last embers. With a snap of his fingers the fire roared back to life, and the warlock took a seat across from him.

“You’ve come back!” He said, a wide grin splitting his face. “I am so glad to see you again child. After Julian stole you from my grasp I mourned the loss of you!”

Alexander didn’t know what to say. He didn’t quite recall that part. He knew the warlock was responsible for him being alive, and sometimes dreamed of him in strange fragments. The beginning of his new life was a blur of hunger and rage and it was hard to keep things straight in his mind at times. When he thought of Zane however he always thought of him being taller, and blue glittering magic always came to mind. Though it seemed that the tips of Zane’s fingers glowed a residual red, not blue at all.

“I need you to help me,” Alexander told him slowly. “My master, and Adelaide, have forbidden me to come back here. They would be furious to discover I sought you out.”

“I do not fear Julian Lizare,” Zane said indignantly. He couldn’t help but notice that he did not say the same of Adelaide. “What is it you need my help with?”

“My memory. It does not seem to work correctly,” Alexander tried to tell him.

“Can you not remember things at all? I worried your brain might be too far damaged to even function properly but I didn’t think once you had awoken that you wouldn’t be able to recall your day to day lif-“ Zane started, and was probably going to go off into a very long rant before Alexander held up his hand to stop him.

“That’s not what I mean. I can remember many things since my awakening, it’s the things before that which I would like to recall. Things keep trying to make their selves known to me, but I feel as though there is a wall containing them in my mind. I need to know who this body belonged to before it was mine,” He told the warlock, who seemed baffled by it all.

“Why the body was always yours my dear,” Zane explained to him. “You were human once, or something very similar. See your scars there? I would assume they were runes.”

“Runes?” Alexander asked, the word though, was sparking something even now. Made him feel a tingling on his cold skin.

“Julian explained none of this to you? About the magnificence that allows you to be alive at all?” Zane asked puzzled, sounding saddened by it all.

“That’s why I came to you,” Alexander told him. “I fear I will be driven mad trying to remember.”

“You are the greatest thing I will ever do, and I owe it to you to help you understand why dear boy. Julian didn’t want you to come here because he thinks I am mad. Most of the downworld hates me, thinks I have a Frankenstein complex, which may be true, but if I create life then how am I wrong?” The warlock asked him. Alexander wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, but found he didn’t need to. Zane kept on explaining, launching into the story with little provocation.

“I think it is the unique mix of the blood of the angel, the vampirism, and my magic that made you what you are. The first of your kind! I do not know what your name was before, but I know you were once a shadowhunter, and that Julian and Adelaide had decided, by your will or their own I cannot say, to turn you into a child of the night. You were to be reborn, but during your transition, Adelaide had gotten a hold of you. She was a fledgling, wild and passionate. She destroyed you, ripped you limb from limb, and that was just how you were brought to me. Julian did not think I would be able to do it, to reanimate you I mean. I told him I had done it before, countless times with many different animals. The magic I had to use is of course outside of the law, but I can’t even remember the last time I paid the law any attention anyways. I am the one who put your body back together, who called your life force to you. I have never had a successful human reanimation before, but you were strong! You wanted to live so badly! I will never forget the first time your blue eyes blinked up at me! I loved you instantly!” Zane explained to him excitedly. Like a mother talking about a dearly beloved child.

“Adelaide is the one who killed me? I never knew…” Alexander let his sentence trail off, remembering the story they had told him. One where they had went to great pains to save his life. But he had had a life before all this. He was one of the Nephilim, one of the very people he feared so much. The ones that Adelaide assured him would destroy him upon sight. Had he asked Julian to become a vampire in the first place? Or was that just another part of a greater lie?

“I never wanted them to take you back,” Zane said morosely. “Have they been taking care of you? I have so longed to study your condition!”

“They have taken good care of me,” Alexander said shortly. He was not sure if he should go back to her, of stay here and be studied by a madman. He could run free he supposed, but to be hunted from all sides. If he was really the only creature of his kind, he was sure he would be easy to find.

“You are a magnificent creature!” Zane said with true admiration in his tone.

“But what am I exactly? I have the thirst like a vampire, but I know I can walk in the sunlight. My heart also, sometimes it tries to beat,” He told the warlock, a fact he had always kept to himself. He often felt he was stuck somewhere between being dead and alive.

“That is fascinating!” Zane exclaimed and summoned a heavy leather bound journal and a quill but no ink. “Can you stomach regular food as well?”

“I’ve never tried,” Alexander said in a daze. “We are getting off topic. I want to know about my memories, can you get them back for me?”

“I will do anything you ask,” Zane promised him. “It would be my pleasure to work on you again.”

“I am not an experiment!” Alexander snapped, making the warlock shrink back a little.

“Of course not,” Zane said, looking very apologetic. “You’ll have to excuse my enthusiasm, I am just so very glad you have returned. You matter very much to me, and I know that this must all be frightening, but you have my word that I will help you recall your past life if I can.”

Alexander had been about to thank the silly little man when a pounding came to the door, and a shrieking that he recognized all too well. Panic rose in his chest, making his heart flutter to life for a few moments. It was her, she had known he would come here and she was extremely angry. Zane’s third eye glared at the door angrily while the other two were fixed on Alexander.

“They will never let you come back here,” He told the man quickly.

“I can’t go back with her,” Alexander said it, though he had not been sure moments before, he knew it was the right choice now. His future depended on Zane, somehow he was sure of it.

“Go upstairs and pull the chain in the hall, it will get you to the attic and to the roof. There is a ladder on the other side. Run, and find me at first sunlight at the Chapel Vittore. I will keep her at bay,” Zane promised her and nearly shoved Alexander towards the stairs. Red fire cackled at his fingertips as he approached the front door.


	5. Ashes to Ashes

Julian watched her as she paced back and forth nervously through his apartment. He was worried that she might change her mind at any moment, that she would flee back to the family that discarded her. She was beautiful for a mortal, though they had never quite been his taste before. Her dark hair and already pale skin would look good on her when she was reborn, and she would be nearly perfect in her visage. He would enjoy having her as a fledgling, for then she would actually depend upon him, she would be drawn to him always, and obedient.

“You want to leave tonight?” She asked again, for the third time in a row.

“Why wait any longer, love?” He purred, rising from his seat and going to her. He clasped her gently by the elbows, always delighting in the flaming life force he felt whenever he touched her.

“How would we get there?” She asked sharply. “You can’t travel during the day.”

“I need your word that we will leave together before I reveal my secrets,” He told her with a smirk.

“You don’t trust me?” She inquired.

“No, I do not,” He said to her simply. If there was anger in her eyes it was short lived, followed quickly by the sorrow that was always there.

“Let’s go then. I want to get this over with,” She told him, and reached down to grab the bag she had brought with her.

“I will need a few moments to get dressed at least,” He explained to her.

“Are you going to pack?” She wondered out loud, looking around the place, which was fully furnished, if missing some essentials here and there.

“What?” Julian asked laughing. “You thought this stuff was mine?”

He sauntered off to his room to dress himself while Isabelle looked around the apartment with a new light. She wondered who had lived here before him, and if he had killed them and simply took their stead. Julian had never fed on human blood while she was with him, then again he should know better. She was a shadowhunter after all, and their relationship had never been a stable or trusting one. The desperate look in his eyes, and the tenderness he showed towards her were more frightening then the idea of anything else. She remembered what she talked about with Magnus and Constantine, the image of her being his mate flashed through her mind. It was a revolting thought. She just had to keep her focus on Alec, and remind herself she was only doing this for him.

Julian returned moments later in his usual frayed and aged looking wardrobe, with an old army bag flung over his shoulder. When he extended his hand to her, she knew this was it, and her stomach felt like it was going to drop out of her body. So many things could go wrong, and as she let him lead her out of the building and into the cold city streets, she couldn’t help but wonder if he could hear how quickly her heart was beating. The blood certainly had to be pumping through her veins at an alarming rate, and she hoped he would believe it was all because of her nerves.

As it turned out the secret to his travels between the cities was a well hidden portal in Chinatown, guarded by an ordinary mundane woman who didn’t even look at the two of them as they entered her tiny shop. It was filled with all kinds of curiosities, but from the outside looked like a place you would probably get hacked to pieces inside of. It was no wonder not many would stop by here, not unless they specifically knew what it held in its back room. Isabelle would have to remember to come shut this place down when all was said and done. There was probably numerous nefarious characters that used this thing for all kinds of smuggling and hiding. She stared at the swirling colors with apprehension.

“It will be approaching dawn when we get to Paris, but we will be safe in my home there. I promise you Isabelle, you will never feel sorrow again,” He told her assuredly.

“You can’t promise me that,” She said to him sternly. Something about the glint in his eye, and the cruel smirk on his face chilled her to the bone. The way he looked was as if he knew some hidden secret that would please her, as if Paris would be some grand reveal. In that moment her heart soared, and she knew that without a doubt, her brother was going to be waiting on the other side. She hoped the others were ready for a fight.

 

((0)) 

 

Alexander had never seen the sun rise. At least not since he was created. He couldn’t help but stare at it in wonder, even as he tried to keep his hood up and out of sight across the street from the Chapel Vittore. Zane had said to meet him here, and Alexander couldn’t help but feel as though the warlock would never come. When the sun had fully crested the horizon and there was still no sign of him, the creature was starting to lose hope. He didn’t want to wait long. He had no desire to be out on the streets when the citizens of the city started their early morning routines. He waited for five minutes before his patience ran out, and he turned his path back towards where he had fled.

He got himself to the rooftops, where he could run free and without prying eyes. His feet practically flew in his haste to get back to the warlock. He couldn’t fight the feeling that he should have stayed. He should have fought Adelaide. He should have killed her. The rage in his mind delighted picturing her mangled body, throat ripped out and dripping scarlet. His sentimentality had been the only reason he hadn’t stayed. His idea that he owed her more than that. Zane’s story could have been wrong after all, right? He was a madman.

When he finally reached his destination he dropped down from the roof like a stone, landing gracefully in front of Zane’s front door. Or at least where it would have been, now there was just a charred gaping whole. His heart gave off two tiny beats as he made his way into the house. It looked mostly destroyed, still some cinders burning on the floor, and most of the furniture smashed to bits.

“No,” He whispered out loud, scanning the place for any signs of life. A million thoughts ran through his head. Maybe Zane had made it out, and he was waiting at the Chapel Vittore right now. He felt the brushings of fear for the first time that he could ever remember. He stalked through the house sifting through debris until he found the blood, a great big pool of it. His mouth sickeningly watered, but he ignored his instincts and found the small warlock. He had fallen by a shelf next to a heaping pile of broken glass and bottles, his hand wrapped around a small green one. His throat was torn open.

“Zane!” Alexander cried, and kneeled down next to him, gingerly rolling his body onto his back. His heart gave another tiny thump, and he had to choke back a scream. This man was the only thing that could have connected him to his past. He looked at the little green bottle and snatched it up, pulling the cork free with barely any effort at all. He hoped this would do something as he held the bottle to the man’s mouth and poured the contents in, massaging his throat with cold fingers, trying to force the liquid down. It seemed pointless, but the warlock’s body was not in the coldness of death. There had to still be a chance!

Moments went by in silence, till Alexander was ready to give up hope. Then, as if by miracle, he watched as the warlock’s throat magically started stitching itself back together. Zane’s eyes flew open as he gasped desperately for breath. He sat up and cast his eyes about wildly until they lit on Alexander.

“You came back?” He asked, as if it was the stupidest thing the other man could have done.

“I thought you were dead,” Alexander told him, glad that it wasn’t true.

“I nearly was,” Zane explained. His eyes suddenly went wild again as he took in the state of his home. He stood shakily to his feet, waving away Alexander’s help as he started shifting things aside. He was looking for something specifically, that much was obvious. He had started muttering to himself in some language that sounded like cackling flames. He nearly fell twice until he found a large black journal, the one he had been taking notes in last night.

“We need to leave, she will be back,” Zane told him, making for the door without a second look at his surroundings.

“Wait!” Alexander called after him. “What about your home?”

“Material things! This is all I need,” He said, holding up the journal.

“But where will we go? I’ve never been anywhere outside the city.”

Zane picked up something off the ground, a big brass globe, and tossed it to Alexander. He then promptly stomped out of the house and warned the other man that if he didn’t want to be burned to death that he had better follow him. He didn’t need to be told twice and stumbled after the warlock who was already making his way quickly towards the mouth of the alley. When Alexander caught up to him, Zane snapped his fingers, and an ear splitting boom resounded behind them.

“Are you insane?” Alexander cried, but didn’t stop walking, as the warlock hadn’t either.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve been run out of town my dear boy and I dare say it won’t be the last. I find it best not to leave any evidence,” Zane said simply. He was an amazingly fast walker for someone who was half the size of Alexander. “Have you chosen a place then?”

Alexander looked down at the globe in his hands, not knowing even where to start. He turned it about, looking at all the different countries and places. Where did he want to go? He had never thought he would be allowed to leave Paris, but now he could literally go anywhere. His eyes found the States, and he felt an almost undeniable pull there, like it was someplace he truly needed to see. He surprised even himself however, when his mouth said the next words.

“Let’s go to New York.”

 

((0))

 

Isabelle was surprised to note that Julian actually had a beautiful home. Of course all the windows were fastened shut with heavy black curtains covering them all, but the interior was wonderfully decorated, well lit by vampire standards, with haunting pictures of fallen angels upon the walls. The marble of the stone floors shone brilliantly.

“It’s beautiful,” She told him in awe. She couldn’t help but notice it looked like something a high society matron would own, not Julian’s style at all.

“Thank you,” He said to her, grinning his predatory grin. “Now I have a surprise for you dearest one. I want you to close your eyes.”

She smirked, and was about to comply when a door not far away from them blew open, with a shrieking that she instantly knew was familiar. The last thing she expected was the Enchantress to come flying into the room in a rage. She went straight for Julian, not even seeming to notice that Isabelle was there at all.

“That impudent little cockroach is gone!” She screamed.

“Adelaide,” Julian tried to warn her.

“He ran back to Zane!”

“Adelaide enough!” Julian shouted at her, and Isabelle was surprised to see her cower for a moment. She remembered though that Julian was her sire, and probably had a better control on her then one would think. The last time she had seen the Enchantress the woman had become unhinged, she wondered if that had changed at all.

“We have a guest, and you’re being rude,” He told her, and gently reached out a finger and turned her face towards Isabelle. The violet haired woman’s eyes were filled with recognition, and a hatred so deep Isabelle could physically feel it.

Every inch of her shadowhunter’s body told her to flee. She knew she wouldn’t get far though, they could both easily outrun her. She just had to stall them long enough for reinforcements to arrive. Her nerves were singing though, and she knew they could probably dance to the beat of her heart right now. She had to keep her cool though, not show the immense anger and hatred she was feeling right now.

“Adelaide,” She said calmly, with an inclination of the head. It shocked both of them, which was clear by the looks on their faces. They wore identical expressions of disbelief.

“You knew,” Julian said, recovering first and ever suspicious. Isabelle wanted to faint, and hoped her next move would pay off to extend her life long enough for the others to get here, not end it prematurely.

“Of course I knew,” She told him smoothly. “I do have contacts outside of New York you know. I just needed to see it to be sure. Once you turn me, then I can be with my brother. Forever.”

“She’s lying,” Adelaide hissed. “She would have to have deeper connections in Paris than a Nephilim could even reach to have known.”

“When you prowl the local night clubs for your pray Enchantress, your secret couldn’t have been that well hidden,” Isabelle countered. Adelaide looked outraged by this, but not so much as Julian did.

“You were supposed to stay hidden Addy,” He said acidly.

“I did!” She protested, but her voice wavered.

“I want to see Alec,” Isabelle put in, trying to keep her own voice from faltering.

“You can’t,” Adelaide answered quickly, noticeably taking a step away from Julian. “He’s run off.”

“What do you mean run off?” Julian was practically seething now.

“I told you he went back to Zane!” She shot back.

“You let him outsmart you?!” Julian roared. He struck out at her viciously, sending her flying against the room and roughly into the wall. She yowled like a cat and crumbled to the floor. Julian was on her in seconds, delivering crushing blows. Their fight sounded like the grinding together of two stones. Isabelle gently reached into her bag, feeling for her whip. How long before they would notice her, before the anger would be directed her way? They could tear her apart in seconds. When the air finally rippled next to her, the tension in her body finally seemed to relax, if only for an instant.

So busy were the two with their battle of snapping jaws that they didn’t see the others stepping through the portal at first. Constantine stepped through in the lead, followed by Magnus and Jace, all ready for a fight. Something about their presence once through however, made Adelaide stop short, her head snapping up sharply and going directly to her ex-lover. The man she had spent centuries controlling.

“Impossible,” She whispered.

Julian stood slowly, turning to face them as if he had all the time in the world to do so. His smile was maddeningly sweet, as if this was just the outcome he had hoped for. His eyes went straight to Isabelle, and to her surprise he started clapping.

“Brava, you clever little cunt,” He spat at her. “I should have known.”

“You should have,” She replied without fear. “Lust always dulls a man’s senses.”

“Is Alec here?” Magnus whispered to her, almost hesitantly.

“He’s alive, but he’s not here,” She told him out loud for the benefit of the others.

“He’s beyond your reach Magnus,” Julian told him.

The door that Adelaide had come out of suddenly slammed shut, and roaring blue flames blocked the other exits out of the room. Adelaide howled in fear and cowered on the floor, and Isabelle guessed that the woman was still unstable in the head. A far cry from the force she used to be. Her eyes were still fixed on Constantine, and she even tried pitiably to reach out to him. The ancient warlock in turn looked at her as if she were a rat he found in the pantry. Julian was the only one who had no fear.

“I haven’t been here in a long time Adelaide,” Magnus said casually. “I remember the first time I ever stepped foot inside this place. Why you would choose to hide here is beyond me. It’s like you wanted to be caught.”

“Then why did it take you so long to figure it out?” Julian countered. “You can kill us now Bane, but the damage is already done. Years of your lives that you will never get back, and your precious Alec, well if you ever find him you will understand what I mean.”

“What have you done to him?” Magnus asked, again with a calm tone. The calm before the storm Isabelle would call it.

“You should thank me Maggie,” Julian said sweetly. “Now the two of you can be together forever.”

“You changed him into a vampire,” Isabelle accused hotly. His gaze roamed over her lazily.

“Oh no dearest, he is a completely different kind of monster,” He said laughing.

“All this for her?” Magnus asked, indicating the cowering woman in a heap on the floor. “You hated Adelaide, why would you go so far to protect her?”

“She killed Beaudroux for me,” He said with a maddening smirk.

“So you never were cast from your clan,” Isabelle said, piecing it together. “She killed him all that time ago so you could take his stead, and in return you helped her stage her death.”

“And it only took you three years to figure it all out!” Julian said in delight. “The Clave must be so proud of you!”

"But you hated her! You told me countless times that you wanted to kill her!" Isabelle cried indignantly. 

"And I did want to kill her," He replied. "Until she convinced me otherwise. She can be quite persuasive, and she made it so I could take my clan without a fight."

“You’ll never see the moonrise again Julian. It was all for nothing, that clan will be leaderless, Adelaide has lost everything. There is nothing left for you now,” Magnus told him. The smile left Julian’s face.

“I’ve had a pretty good run of it,” The vampire said graciously while Adelaide continued to wail from the floor. “I guess you can’t win them all. But you can’t deny me this Magnus, you will remember me forever. I’ll haunt you until you lose that brilliant mind of yours.”

“I would never give you the satisfaction,” Magnus said simply.

The warlock then snapped his fingers, the curtains fell from the windows sending in the early morning rays as the room was awash in a bright golden glow. Isabelle couldn’t tear hear eyes away as the skin on both Julian and Adelaide cracked and fissured like find china. Pieces of them burned away to ash, and they crumbled in a matter of minutes. It was so easy, and yet it had been such a journey to get here. Her heart felt ready to burst and she collapsed on the ground, trying to catch her breath for the first time in three years. It felt like it took her a lifetime to finally see an end to all the horrors Adelaide had brought with her and into their lives. From the first moment she had stepped foot in New York and her hellhound had killed Callista Starwell, until this moment now. It was all too much for her, and she started sobbing uncontrollably. She didn’t expect Magnus to be the one to pick her up off the ground.

“It’s over Isabelle,” He whispered to her comfortingly. “They’re gone.”

“They’ll never be gone,” She told him. There were some things in life that you carried with you forever, and this would be one of them. Just like she always carried the guilt of Max, and the horrors that Valentine had wrought so many years ago when she was still a girl. This life of hers was nothing but horrors and death.

“Alec is still alive,” Jace said to her, putting a hand on her shoulders and standing behind them. “We have to find him. At least there is that.”

“Did they say where he could have gone?” Magnus asked. She knew he was keeping it together, only for her sake, but that he had to have been just as scared as she was.

“They said something about him running back to Zane,” She said between tears, trying to wipe at her eyes and get herself back under control. When she looked at Magnus though she wanted to panic again. He had seemed to have gone pale a bit.

“That can’t be,” Magnus said, and his eyes looked far away.

“Who is he Magnus?” Jace asked with an edge to his voice.

“Zane Pierce,” Constantine put forth. “This isn’t exactly good news, but I know where he stays in the city at least. We should hurry, it would not be wise to leave Alec with a man like that.”

Magnus was thrown back, in his own mind at least, to the years he had known Zane. The cruel experiments, the disregard for law and safety. The black magic. The man was completely out of his mind, and if Magnus could remember correctly, Zane had a terrifying duel personality. A genius scientist with a deadly god complex. What Magnus remembered most though was his red eye, and how it seemed to watch everything and everyone, even when Zane himself was not paying attention. When Julian had told them that Alec was a different kind of monster, Magnus was not all that sure he was willing to find out what kind that could be anymore.


	6. The Hospit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm still working on this story.

They stood outside Zane’s husk of an apartment. It was utterly destroyed and they knew there was no sense in searching it. The warlock had to have been long gone by now, and Alec with him. There was the sound of a tinkling little laugh behind them and Magnus whipped his head around to see a silver haired little pixie girl staring at them all. Her eyes were silver too, and she seemed to be a bit off kilter.

“Can we help you?” Izzy asked in irritation.

“She was so so angry, what a terrible fight they had. The Other creature came back and saved him. They ran off together,” She said, wicked gleam in her eye.

“Do you know where they went?” Isabelle asked.

The girl nodded and laughed before pointing into the house. “Get me the little red box and I shall tell you.”

“Why can’t you get it yourself?” Jace muttered, not the only one losing his patience.

“The warlock has protections against my kind,” She said, grinning to reveal pointed little teeth. Magnus sneered at her and swooped into the house. The offending box was sitting in plain sight on the bookshelf, the only one still intact in the entire residence. He flicked open the lid to see a fine silvery powder, recognizing it right away, becoming even more disgusted with the pixie. He emerged again and shoved the box at her.

“Which way did they go?” Magnus demanded. The girl giggled and pointed to the end of the alley before trying to dash off. Magnus was having none of it, his temper frayed beyond recognition. He extended his hand and stopped the pixie in her tracks before levitating her in the air and dropping her, quite solidly onto the cobbled street. She let out a little huff and glared at him.

“That hurt,” She pouted.

“Where did they go?” Magnus said between his teeth.

“I don’t know,” She said, still frowning and trying to squirm away. “The warlock took the Other, all I know is that they would not have stayed here in Paris. They could be anywhere by now.”

“The Other, why do you keep saying that? What is it?” Magnus asked her.

“The Other is the creature he made, sewed him up and raised from the dead. He called it science, what do you think the shadowhunters will call it? What do you think they will do to the Other? He is unnatural even by our standards, downworlder.”

Magnus had to suppress the urge to strangle her, he had no desire of angering the Fae courts. Instead he simply lifted his magic off her and let her scamper away, turning back to the others with a defeated expression. The Other, the thing she had been talking about had to be Alec, and the thought sat like stone in his heart. He started to doubt that there was any good outcome to this situation.

“So now what?” Magnus asked them, looking at all the defeat in their faces.

“Let’s return to the Institute, we have to come up with a plan,” Isabelle said, but what everyone really heard is, _there is nothing we can do from here._

 

((0))

 

It was driving him completely insane. He had literally lost his touch with reality over the past month. They had been so close, so very close to reaching Alec, and now there was nothing. There had been no way to track Zane, the warlock was too smart for that. There was no way to track Alec either, which Magnus guessed by now was because he wasn’t really Alec anymore. He wanted to keep searching, he really did, but he started to lose track of the simplest of moments. One minute he would swear he was in his office, only to blink his eyes and be sitting at his old loft, hallucinating Alec walking in the door. Huge chunks of time were going missing, and he was having conversations with people that were not there. Eventually he had help seek him out in the form of a very old friend.

“Magnus?!” An excited voice called out to him. “Magnus Bane?”

He looked around, he was in Taki’s, but couldn’t really remember getting there. A plate of raspberry crepes was sitting before him, and a cold cup of coffee. He looked up into a pair of familiar yellow rimmed eyes. It had been years since he had seen Sissy. She was from an old Irish family, not very old in terms of warlocks, but unique. She had never been cast out of her family, which surprisingly boasted two warlocks, Sissori and her sister Sevenry, twins. Together they ran a hospit in the Bronx that catered to all matter of shadowworld creatures free of charge.

“It’s good to see you Sissy,” He said absently, gesturing for her to take a seat.

“You look like ass,” Sissy told him, ever blunt and to the point. She had rather large wings on her back, like an owls. Her party trick was being able to turn her head all the way around as well, it was a bit unnerving. Her sister was the same.

“Thank you blossom, how kind of you to say,” He replied.

“I mean it Magnus, it scares me to see you looking like this,” She said, snapping her fingers and pulling a small silver mirror out of thin air and holding it out for him to look into. She was right of course, his eyes looked sunken in, and his face like it was chipped out of stone, and then ran into with a hammer several times. How long had he been wearing this shirt? Abominable. He waved the mirror away.

“Did Foss send you? Constantine? Who?” He asked in anger.

“Nobody sent me,” She said, temper flaring as well, bringing out her accent pointedly. She had always been a severe hothead. “I’ve been looking for you myself, you are the High Warlock after all, and I need your help.”

“I can’t help you,” He said miserably.

“Then step down,” She said, and he knew she was trying to bait him into helping her anyways. “Sissori Lovat, High Warlock of Brooklyn, sounds wonderful, what do you think?”

“Sevenry has more leader-like qualities,” He said to her, a frail attempt at humor.

“True,” Sissy said, unable to deny it. “Please Magnus, maybe putting your mind to use solving the solvable will help you.”

“I don’t think my mind works anymore,” He told her, and felt as she laid a hand over his. He looked up to meet her eyes, a little surprised to find true worry there. They had been friends once, very close about a hundred years ago. They did live in the same city as well.

“Magnus please, I need you,” She pleaded. “Just come down to the hospit, it would really help me out. You could even see a few patients if you want to, Sev and I could use the extra help. You used to love coming to stay with us for a while. It would be like old times.”

“It’s just not a good idea right now,” He tried to tell her, but knew he would lose this battle already, Sissy was nothing if not stubborn.

“Please Magnus, I hate to beg. I just need you to look at a patient of mine, I am completely stumped and you have always been smarter than me,” Sissy begged. “Just come.”

“I guess it wouldn’t kill me,” Magnus said, paying for his food and following her out of Taki’s. She tried to make small talk with him, telling him what her and her devilish sister had been up to over the years. He couldn’t pay attention to her words though. Usually it would fill him with joy to catch up with an old friend, especially one he used to get into the pleasantest mischief with, but his focus was not to be had. He was sure he didn’t utter a single sound the entire trip back to the hospit.

It looked just as he remembered it, just a small plain brick building in a row with several others. Lovat Sisters was plastered above the door with a sigil of an owl, and the smell of brewing herbs hit his nose on the walk up the stairs. There was a young boy in the front garden tending to some small plants that gave them a little wave before they stepped inside. The waiting room was mostly empty today, it’s sole occupant a wary looking fae man sitting in the corner, glaring.

“Thank the cosmos your back,” Sevenry said when they walked into one of the rooms in the back of the building. It was a small viewing room, a pane of one way glass observing a patient. Sevenry looked remarkably like her sister. Both had the same yellow eyes, same wings, and long black hair that was silky smooth.

“The madman hasn’t come back to claim him then? Good,” Sissori said, entering the room and throwing her scarf across the back of a chair.

“You brought Magnus?” Sevenry asked, voice dripping with doubt. “I thought we were going to go to the Institute for this one.”

“You know that Magnus works with the shadowhunters there,” Sissy chided her.

“She means you should have gone to Constantine,” Magnus filled in, understanding the looks Sevenry was sending her. “Nice to see you too Sev.”

“It’s just that this is very important,” She explained. “We think we might have discovered a new kind of downworlder.”

“He is not a new species,” Sissy snapped. “What that man did was not a miracle Sev, it was breaking the law. You have to know it was wrong.”

A prickling sense of panic started to creep up Magnus’s spine. He tried to step into the room fully, but couldn’t make his feet move. What they were saying, it couldn’t be true could it? The silver haired pixie jumped into his mind then, _The Other._ He lumbered a few more steps into the room and slammed up against the glass as if it was the only thing in the room that could keep him upright any longer. The sisters, who had been arguing, turned and looked at him sharply. It was true, but it couldn’t be. It wasn’t the same person, in fact it might not have been a person at all.

“Alec,” He said, voice trembling.

There he was, not quite the way Magnus had left him. He was sitting in the middle of the room staring at the glass, and if it had allowed two way vision he would be staring straight at Magnus. Those blue eyes, taking Magnus back to when life was not so hard. Alec looked quite literally like he had been sewn back together, just like the pixie had said. He was more pale now then he had ever been before. Suddenly Magnus’s vision went black, and when he came to again he was in the room with Alec, hearing shouting behind him. The sisters were trying to warn him, trying to tell Magnus just how dangerous this creature was. He couldn’t believe Alec would ever hurt him, but that turned out not to be the case. Within seconds he was pinned to the ground with an incredible strength, jaws snapping in his face. He hated to use magic, but he had to, throwing Alec off him and pinning him to the wall.

“He has fangs,” Magnus said, looking back at the girls in anger, as if they had done this to him. He was still holding Alec to the wall with magic, and couldn’t bear to look at the way he was thrashing around. Like a mad dog.

“He has the thirst too,” Sevenry told him.

“But he can travel in the sunlight, and say the name of god,” Sissy put forth.

“We are not sure the extent of his capabilities. He is rabid at the moment, we can’t find a way to calm him. It was why Zane brought him to us in the first place. Once we saw what he was we knew we had to turn him over to the Clave,” Sevenry finished.

“Not yet,” Magnus told them. “I want to see Zane first.”

“Magnus please, come out of the room,” Sissy said, eyes on Alec and the bloodthirsty look in his own. Magnus did not want to, but he eventually stood and walked to the girls, allowing them to usher him out of the room and shut the door. As soon as it was closed Magnus let his magic down, only to find Alec running across the room and slamming himself repeatedly into the glass.

“Where is Zane?” Magnus said, it was shocking in its neutrality.

“He said he was going to Russia to try and contact an old accomplice of his, we’re not sure when he’ll be back,” Sissy told him.

“You are not going to start a war here,” Sevenry chastised him. “Whatever this issue is you will take it far away from here, and only after we turned this creature over to the Clave.”

Sissori turned and slapped her sister then, in the arm and hard. The sisters burst out into an argument in Gaelic that Manus was too stunned to follow. He could only watch Alec, and how he looked like one of those zombies out of a silly mundane horror flick. Just throwing himself at the glass again and again stupidly, having to know he wouldn’t get through. He heard Alec’s name several times in the sibling spat and looked back at them.

“That’s your man isn’t it, the head of the Institute’s brother? Alec…I remember that name,” Sissy said, suddenly more sympathetic. Sev for her part was still glaring, but said nothing.

“Yes,” Magnus said through anger numbed lips.

“I’m so sorry,” Sissy said, and meant it. “I had no idea it was him. We shouldn’t have brought you.”

“Sevenry is right,” Magnus said, surprising them. “He needs to be turned over to the Clave, but it will be in the timing I say, understand? I want Constantine to look at him first.”

“Magnus, I’ve been a healer for centuries, there is no undoing this,” Sissori tried gently.

“Constantine might quite possibly be the oldest warlock alive, if there is anything to be done he will find it. His mind, have you checked on his mind?” Magnus asked dismissively.

“His mind is nothing but pain and blood, he has no memories of a more human existence,” Sev told him. “He has been reduced to primal instincts. Most likely because Zane doesn’t even understand what kind of monster he made.”

“He is not a monster,” Magnus shot back angrily. Sevenry was never one to back down from a challenge though, and glared hotly back at him.

“Alec Lightwood is dead Magnus, you had better get that through your head. That is not the man you love in there, he is an abomination,” She said without any hint of remorse.

“You can’t know that,” He told her, breath coming fast. He was going to have another breakdown, he could feel it rushing towards him.

“Magnus, the way you are looking at him tells me you know it too,” She said, only slightly more gently then her original statement.

His vision went black.

 

((0)) 

 

Everything hurt, his entire body was a torment. He wanted to be free of this flesh, this hunger. Anything to make the screaming in his head stop. He didn’t understand where he was, or what happened to his master. There was a mirrored wall, showing him a snarling hideous creature that he did not register as himself. There had been visitors, a pair of owl women and a man with blue magic. He wanted to kill them, to drink their life. He had tried, but could not get close to them.

The sound of the door opening made his head snap around. Instincts took over as he launched himself at this newest intruder, having little care who it was. There was a crackling in the air and suddenly his body felt very heavy, he couldn’t take another step, and collapsed to the floor. He looked up and his vision cleared just long enough to see a pair of antlers before he was pulled under into sleep once more, by force as it usually was.

He did not dream however, instead he was pulled deeper inside of his own rage. Like a black roiling cloud inside his head. He wasn’t alone either, there was a presence in his mind with him. It was light and gentle, being instantly overwhelmed by the madness that was already resident. It was looking for something, and while his instincts told him not to, he followed the light. He gave chase in earnest as the light touched every part of him, searching and searching for something that could not be found.

“Alec, do you hear me?” A soft voice echoed in his mind. “Follow my voice.”

So he did, he followed the voice, abandoning the light. Reality flowed away from him as he stumbled into a plain stone room, a figure sitting in the middle of it. He had antlers, and curling black hair. His face was kindly and wise, and Alec was not afraid to go to him, sitting across from him. The man smiled and reached out, brushing long black locks from his eyes.

“There you are,” The man said, voice pleasant. “We have been looking for you for a long time.”

“I know you,” Alec said, surprising himself with the truth of it. “Constantine.”

“Yes, it’s me. You have been lost a long time, and I will do all that is in my power to bring you back. This is a good start I should think,” He told him.

“Where am I?” Alec asked, feeling…well he wasn’t quite sure. Torn would be the best word to describe it he thought. He was here, and he knew himself, but he also knew it wouldn’t last long. This room was his prison, and when his body woke back up he would be locked in it once more, not knowing what he was really doing.

“You are right,” Constantine said out loud, and Alec knew that his thoughts weren’t his own in this place. “I fear when your body regains consciousness you will be lost once more. We must figure out a way to free you.”

“Magnus, is he alright?” Alec asked suddenly, afraid of the answer.

“He has taken things hard, but he is alright. He is here with you, in the physical sense at least,” Constantine informed him.

“How long have I been…” He struggled to find the right word, but his mind supplied it to him. _Dead._

“A few years,” The warlock said sympathetically.

“My family?”

“They are alright,” Constantine told him. “They are very worried for you. What Zane has done, what they all have done to you is unheard of. We don’t know if there is any way to heal you, to bring back your memories, your humanity.”

“You have to help me get out of here, to break the surface, I’m sure it is possible,” Alec said thoughtfully, standing up and pacing.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Constantine said, rising himself. “We are in your head Alec, you have to fight it yourself. I would suggest you do it rather quickly, before the Clave hears of this.”

“They would destroy me,” Alec said knowingly. He peered around the room, looking for any hints of how he could fight his own mind, and found that he was suddenly alone. The room had two doors, one that he had come in, and another that he had never touched before. It was foreboding enough, thick and black, with no handle. Constantine was right, he would have to do this on his own. With a deep breath, he closed his eyes and set his hands on the door.


	7. Damnation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter and the one before while pretty drunk so they took some crazy turns. I mean honestly this whole story had gotten really crazy but I think it makes it fun and interesting and not like all the other Malec fics, but who knows this might not be where you were picturing this story to go. Trust me, I didn't think so either. I've been working on this thing forever and losing and gaining inspiration for it so if Sake has made me take this story in a crazy new direction than so be it! Be gentle with me if you hate what I do in this chapter, it's my birthday and I don't wanna cry! Love you all, stay tuned for more madness. Also I will be adding copious amounts of smut soon!

The smell of burning flesh woke him. Magnus’s eyes flew open, sitting up in the narrow bed in the infirmary. It could have been a normal night, except the smoke pouring in under the door. He jumped out of bed and flung the windows open. There was only two other patients in here that were quickly roused and led to the window and safety. Magnus himself turned back and went to the door, blasting it open with a strong jet of water, shooting from his hand. The hallway beyond was blackened with smoke, but he only had one thing on his mind. He ran, nearly blind, to the room where Alec was being kept. As he blasted the door down his worst fears proved to be right.

Sevenry lay dead on the floor, headless no less, making a heaping pile of gore before her. He had no time to spare her however, and quickly stepped around. The two way glass lay shattered, and the room beyond was empty. He turned quickly and plunged back into the burning hospit, checking for any sign of which direction he could have gone. He met Constantine in the hall, who was apparently on the same search.

“Sev is dead, the glass is shattered,” Magnus informed him quickly, following the other warlock to the back of the building.

“He killed Sissori as well,” Constantine said with a grim expression. “As soon as he saw members of the Clave were here he set the blaze. Alec went with him willingly enough.”

There was a high pitched shrieking that drew their attention, and the two warlocks sped to the sound, only to find exactly what they were looking for. Bursting into the back gardens his eyes immediately locked onto Alec, leaning over and draining the blood from the Lovat sister’s apprentice. Zane was there two, both of his eyes were closed, but his third eye was vividly open, casting about madly between Izzy and Jace who both had their weapons drawn and were clearly fighting for their lives. Magnus burst into action first, lightening striking in inch before Zane’s nose and spilling him backwards onto his rear end.

“Magnus don’t kill him,” Constantine ordered as he used his magic to put Alec into a comatose state. “He is the only one who knows of Alec’s condition.”

“He killed the Lovat’s,” Magnus said through gritted teeth, but knew the other warlock was right. Instead he called the lightening once more, sending it with ferocity towards the third eye, striking it and successfully knocking Zane unconscious. There was a collective moment where the madness of the passing night seemed to weigh them all down. Iz was staring dejectedly at her brother, who was now comfortably laying in Jace’s lap. No place seemed like a good place to begin.

“Take Zane into custody Isabelle,” Constantine ordered, taking charge for her because she could not. “We can interrogate him back at the institute.”

“And Alec?” Jace asked, staring down at the creature who had once been closer to him than a brother. Magnus moved almost by instinct to kneel by the duo, placing a shaking hand against his lover’s brow.

“Magnus and I will watch over him here, while we clean up this mess,” Constantine supplied. He was the only one with a clear head after all.

 

((0))

 

It was the wee hours of the morning, sunlight just beginning to pour in through the windows. The cleaning was easy enough with the aid of magic, it was the bodies that were not so simple to deal with. They did what they could to honor the memory of the Lovat sisters and their apprentice, but things weren’t going to be hastily swept under the rug. They had patients who came here, members of the Clave they answered to as well. Someone would have to take over the running of the hospit, or it would have to be shut down. Magnus stared at the picture of the sisters again, the one that was on the front desk. They were dressed identical, as they often were, hugging and smiling and very much alive. What had he brought on them? He flipped the picture down.

“Magnus?” Constantine’s inquiry echoed down the hall. “He’s waking up.”

Magnus knew it wouldn’t make a difference, his Alec was dead and gone. The night monster down the hall in the newly restored observation room was no one to him. It just wore the face of the one he loved most. He sighed and brought himself out of the chair anyways, lumbering down the hall with the last of his depleted energy. Not even 24 hours ago he was watching Alec through this very glass, the Lovat sister’s next to him, and a tiny hope flickering in his chest. Now he felt nothing. He wasn’t sure which was more destructive.

“He’s in there you know,” Constantine said, watching Alec intently. “Deep inside there is a piece of himself, frayed and worn, but it’s there. He asked about you.”

“You think he has any hope of fighting it?” Magnus asked, though his defeated tone and Constantine’s silence said it all. They watched as Alec woke up, his eyes immediately going wild as he started pacing the room like a ravenous lion. Magnus knew he had just recently fed, and something about the thought tore at his stomach. His sweet Alec, who used to like his sweaters two sizes too big, with the blood of an innocent staving his hunger. It didn’t seem right, like the Angel couldn’t have possibly let this happen to one of his children. His cheeks were wet and he knew he was crying, but there was no feeling behind it but the bitter emptiness of true despair.

“I could try and do sessions with him, to make him remember,” Constantine said, caution creeping into his voice. “But I’m afraid,”

“That it will only make his mind weaker,” Magnus finished for him. “I know. I thought about doing the same. If he doesn’t remember naturally then he never will. I just wish there was some way I could go back. If I could have just done something different.”

“Don’t even think it,” The other warlock warned.

“Zane would know—“

“No!” Constantine roared, a truly shocking sound indeed. “What you’re suggesting is Black Magic, very dark and sinister things that you have no business tampering with. There is a reason most think that it is impossible, Magnus Bane. You know what happens to warlocks who mess with time. Do you think I haven’t thought about it a million times? I have lost centuries of my life, do you truly believe that I didn’t wish I could go all the way back and change just one little choice?”

Magnus knew the other man was talking about the years he had spent as Adelaide’s pet and lover. He had lost nearly his entire life due to that trickery, and if even that wasn’t enough of a temptation to go back then Magnus knew he would never justify to this man just why he thought of doing such a thing himself. It was a plaguing thought to him however. Zane was deviously brilliant, the living expert on forbidden and outlawed magic. He would know how to go back, and if he could, well then he could kill Adelaide before any of this even happened. He would have to do it at the right time, it would have to be shortly after the hellhound killed Callista. He stopped there, realizing how much power he was trying to play with here. He would call down some much higher wrath on himself for going back in time and changing things, he knew that. Yet a part of him was still willing to do it.

“Magnus are you listening?” Constantine snapped, clearly a footnote to his much larger rant that was still going on in the background.

“I want to talk to him,” Magnus said suddenly, moving towards the door, making a choice and forming a plan all in the blink of an eye. Constantine sputtered for a second before being cut off. “You said he’s still in there right?”

“Well yes, but—“

“But nothing,” Magnus said firmly. “Hold him down, I need to talk to him.”

“It is not going to be so easy going,” Constantine said, but turned away regardless. Seconds later the pacing creature stopped and sat on the floor. Part of Magnus would always wonder if right at that moment the other man knew what was going to happen. That he predicted the whole thing, and let it happen anyway.

 

((0))

 

The shrieking was unbearable, knocking him to his knees almost immediately, hand flying uselessly to protect his ears. The wind was doing nothing to help him stay on his feet either, tearing at his clothes and making his skin burn. It seemed the very atmosphere was made out of cold blistering wind and darkness. Out in the distance he could see light, light that made him feel a sudden pleasantness in his body, but was quickly snuffed out. He would never make it there.

He forced himself to crawl forward. The sound was making his ears pound and his skin feel like it was being shredded away, but he still pushed himself to move towards the closest of the points of light. Tears were being washed down his face and he was sure his hands were a bloody mess. It didn’t even seem logical that he should be able to move in this oblivion, yet somehow he found the light getting closer, even as it seemed impossibly far. Suddenly there was a resounding echo as the light flared ludicrously bright. Then it was, warm?

_It was warm, but it was only because you weren’t waking up alone. You open your eyes and are instantly dazzled by blue. The blue that means home, that special bright and wonderful color that has a direct impact on the way your heart beats in your chest._

_He laughs._

_You can’t believe how much you can love a sound._

_“I didn’t mean to wake you,” He says shyly. He’s so young and beautiful and full of life. You’re not quite sure why but you start crying. He seems shocked, and it only enhances the effect. He cups your face, his hands feel so warm, calloused already by his bow._

_“It’s going to be alright,” He promises, gently stroking your cheek. You shake your head. No. Impossible. Nothing will ever be alright again. You feel him shake in laughter as he reaches up to kiss your forehead. You close your eyes and try to save this moment. Wanting to remember it for as long as you had left. No other moments could ever matter._

_“You remember this morning, don’t you?” He asks, knowing that neither of you would forget. It had been a very special night, for him at least. You knew instantly you were his first love. You felt it when he looked at you that morning. You knew you were a goner. That he was giving it all to you and all for the first time, and with all the goddamn beauty of an angel._

_It had made you feel very young and very afraid._

_You squeeze your eyes shut tighter, reaching up and clinging to his hand. You both were very aware this was only a memory, that you could not stay here forever. You can painfully recall the exact agony of the darkness that lay beyond this. How many points of light were left? Were you in any more of them? This could very well be your last important moment together. Fitting that it happened to be the morning of a great first memory. That’s probably why it had lasted so long._

_“I’m sorry,” Alec says. You open your eyes because his voice broke. You can’t help but get lost in how animated his eyes are. Knowing very soon you will not ever see them look so fucking blue._

_“You’re not the one who should be saying that,” You manage with a shaky tone._

_“I can’t hold on much longer,” He says bluntly. “Whatever it is that’s holding me to this body is fading. The animal will win Magnus, do you understand me?”_

_“Yes,” You choke out. It was the entire reason you were here._

_That reason was not to say good-bye._

_“What if I could go back?” You ask._

_“Magnus.”_

_“I’m serious,” You insist, because he looks like he doesn’t believe you can._

_You won’t tell him there is the off chance that an angel might appear and smite you._

_“How far back?” He asks suspiciously._

_“To a point you think is fair, on all accounts,” You answer a bit sheepishly. He squints his eyes at you and instantly rolls them._

_“Is that why you finally came in here?” He asks and shoves you, getting up from the bed. “To deem what point in our lives you think we should pick up at?”_

_“No!” You say rather too quickly. “Please Alec, do you really want one of our last ever conversations to be a fight?”_

_“I thought you said you could go back,” He accuses._

_“I said ‘what if’,” You correct him automatically._

_“So you’re unsure?” He asks angrily. You hate the building tension, how can this even be happening right now? You were so positive in the real memory there had been breakfast in bed._

_“I’ll get it done, if you say so,” You told him, laying an unfair burden at his feet. You knew you could never weigh out all the repercussions on your own, but if your lover would be damned with you, then at least you’d be together._

_The silence begins._

_Then the edges of the dream start to get smaller, and you notice with panic that Alec is beginning to blur. You hear the beginnings of a wind storm outside. You know instantly the darkness is creeping closer. You reach out and cling to Alec and he gets a look in his eye that you recognize all too well, the look of the damned._

_“I don’t know how many more trips out there I’ll survive. So first, know that I love you more than is right. If you can go back, go back and stop Adelaide before her rampage, stop her from coming to New York in the first place. It has to be after all the years apart,” He says the last part with shocking clarity._

_“That’s eight years we could get back!” You protest._

_“It will be our punishment, for what you are about to do for us,” He says, his eyes scorching a hole right through you. “And you know what else that means?”_

_“What?” You ask stupidly. You don’t know what else to really say._

_“That you will have to come and find me again,” He says smirking. “You know in a way Adelaide re-introduced us.”_

_The darkness came back._

_It didn’t seem like nearly enough time._

As soon as Magnus was back to the land of the living he knew he would have to act fast. He couldn’t be positive that Constantine wasn’t going to try and stop him, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow the other warlock knew exactly what was going on. If he didn’t find a way to get to Zane first then everything was ruined.

When he came back to himself he shot into action, flinging out a random stream of magic to disrupt Constantine’s spell that was holding Alec in place. Everything all seemed to happen at once. Alec sprang forward with a vicious snarl and latched onto Constantine’s neck as Magnus ran for the door. There was a loud crash and a strangely canine sounding yelp as the room crackled with energy. He knew he just had to get out of the room, then he could perhaps make it out of the building and to the Institute. It wasn’t really that far, he would run if he had to, if there was no way to make a safe portal before the other man caught up with him. He reached the handle and pulled the door open, sending it crashing into the wall. Constantine’s strangled words followed him out of the room, _Magnus, don’t._

It was far too late for that, he was already in pursuit of his madness. If everything went correctly none of this would even matter. He could save them all.

 

((0))

 

“I don’t understand,” Jace said for the sixth time, watching Zane from across the room. The little warlock was in a passionate argument with himself, clearly both losing and winning it. Isabelle couldn’t stand still, pacing the room and waiting for word from the Clave. The mess was out, she needed higher power to help her with this one, and it didn’t seem like any result at this point was going to be a good one.

“You guys are making me dizzy,” Clary said, though she actually did look quite ill, probably not much of an exaggeration. “Isn’t the important thing that Alec is alive?”

Isabelle turned and glared at her parabatai. “You call what my brother is alive?” She asked venomously, then turning her attention back to Zane.

“Well I’m sure the Clave will figure that part out,” Jace said, practically growling. “After they dissect him and sick the Silent Brothers on him.” The Clave had put them through more than enough over the years. Good and bad, but all of them couldn’t help but know that it was mostly bad. Shadowhunters weren’t a perfect race, for all they were blood children of an angel.

“I had no choice,” Izzy said, though none of them really expected her to defend herself. They knew as well as she did that this whole mess had gotten out of hand. They had half way covered up one disaster with their superiors, and just barely at that. There was no way this was going to just go away. It was going to have to go through the proper channels.

Suddenly the door next to them blew open, Magnus rushing in as if he had just ran all the way here. Which in this case just so happened to be true. His wild eyes landed on Zane with a sudden and terrifying clarity. His mouth turned into a snarl and Jace instinctively reached out to stop him.

“Magnus, don’t,” He warned him. “You know we need him alive.”

“I’m not going to kill him,” The warlock said very evenly, though his eyes never lost their fanatical look. Jace shot a quick look to Izzy who cut in sharply.

“Then what are you doing bursting in here like that?” She asked hotly. “Shouldn’t you be with Constantine?”

“He sent me to get you,” Magnus lied easily. “He said he wanted to talk to you and Jace in his office.”

She exchanged another look with Jace before there was a mutual agreement to back down. They all had their bones to pick with Zane and neither of them could really deny Magnus his rage. Izzy quickly went to Clary and told her to stay put and keep an eye on things. The little red head nodded, but more and more looked like she was about to be sick all over the floor in front of her.

After they left Magnus put a little magic into Clary, helping her along towards being sick. He didn’t have time to feel properly guilty about it. She clutched at her stomach as a hand flew to her mouth, practically falling over in her haste to run from the room. She called something out that sounded like ‘be right back’, but he was too close to his goal now to focus on anything but it.

When they were alone, Zane finally acknowledged Magnus.

“I can see why you chose him,” He practically purred. “He is absolutely beautiful.”

“You destroyed him,” Magnus shot back. Zane turned towards him, his third eye fixing on him intently. There was a smile on his face, dreamy and far away.

“I made him great,” He insisted. “He was destroyed long before he came to me. You should have heard him during the procedure, screaming and writhing and trying to die. The way he would whimper your name, begging for you to save him.”

Magnus had tried very hard not to lose his temper but the picture that was being painted before him was too much to bear. He shot his arm out and grabbed the other warlock by the throat, locking his fingers just tight enough that the other man could still work his vocal chords if need be. The cuffs that encircled Zane’s closed fists prevented him from using magic, but Magnus had no such restrictions. He reached up with his free hand, lightening coming to his fingertips, and jammed two fingers into Zane’s third eye. The man roared out in pain but couldn’t do anything to stop his own disfigurement. His face lit up a magnificent shade of purple and Magnus pulled his fingers out at the last second before he actually killed the man.

“Now you should feel nice and cooperative,” Bane told him sweetly. “You are going to tell me how to go back, and if you don’t I’ll think of something else to get you talking.”

There was a pounding at the door and shouting on the other side. He was sure he heard Constantine’s voice among them and was glad Alec hadn’t actually managed to kill the warlock after all. He threw up a barrier in case they managed to break through, but he should be long gone before anything like that ever happened.

“Go back?” Zane moaned out. “In time?”

“Yes, if anyone can do it I know it would be you,” Magnus said with suddenly more confidence than he felt. When Zane started laughing he sincerely hoped he hadn’t been wrong about all this.

“The high warlock of Brooklyn wants to break the laws of magic? This day keeps getting better and better,” The man laughed out, his voice raw and grating.

“Can it be done?” Magnus demanded.

“I don’t know,” He replied. “I’ve never been brave enough to try myself. Bad things happen to those who fiddle with time dear Magnus, you know that.”

“Yes I do,” Bane replied simply.

“The spell itself holds evil inside of it,” Zane said ominously, two of his eyes closed as if the loss of the third had truly blinded him.

“Where is it?”

Zane reached up with his bound hands and thumped himself on the chest. Magnus then let him stand on his feet again and opened the other man’s jacket to retrieve a journal. It was worn and thrummed with power. He knew any number of warlocks who would do terrible deeds for this piece of twisted literature. Between his hands though, it felt like freedom. It could be done, he could go back, and he knew that he could fix everything.

“Goodbye Zane Pierce,” He said quietly. He tucked the journal safely away in his own jacket before reaching forwards and gently cupping Zane’s face in his hands, and then snapping his neck.

“When I go back, I’ll kill you again. I promise.”


	8. A Different Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Bitch!

He missed sleep. The peaceful kind that lasted all night, so deep that he didn’t even dream, he just ceased to exist. He felt like he hadn’t really slept in years, and tonight had been one of the worst nights in a long time. He could hear Michael, soundly snoring just a few inches away, and severely wished he would leave. He figured it would be kind of an asshole thing to do to wake him at 4 am and tell him that. Instead he got up from the bed and made his way to the kitchen. It was entirely a foolish thing to do, reaching for the whiskey as he was, but some things could not be helped. After the dream he had there was no possibility he was spending the day any other way but useless. 

He strode over to the bookshelf, bottle in hand, and grabbed the worn copy of Atlas Shrugged, his fingers automatically pulling out the photo treasure it held. He should burn it, he had no idea why he had little pieces of Magnus still scattered about his life, but he did, and knew he always would. He sat down and stared at the picture, him asleep in Magnus’ lap, and thought again about burning it. 

Eight fucking years. 

Eight years of a paralyzing emptiness he could never fill, no matter how many different men he brought into his life. Nothing lasted, everything withered, and everyone was instantly compared to him. To Magnus. He hated that about himself so much, the fact that he seemed unable to move on. It was sick and disgusting and it was turning his heart into and ugly and useless thing. 

He drank the whiskey straight. 

It was abhorrent. 

The nightmare had been so realistic, yet so outlandish that it couldn’t possibly be based in reality. There was the vengeful looking angel first off, doing battle with Magnus. All around a screaming blackness, and images flickering behind them like on a projection screen. The film hadn’t been running forwards however, it was rewinding. Alec had tried very hard to focus on those images, mainly because he was in them. All of them. What shook him the most though, was not just himself in the images, but the fact that it was his current self. The last time he had been with Magnus he was a teenager, stubborn and lost and naïve. He was a bitter man now, all shadowhunter, which meant he was no longer so innocent as he had been in those days. 

There had been things there, things in those images that seemed infinitely true, yet he knew they couldn’t be. A life where he and Magnus were together, and happy, and surrounded by love. He drank more, wanting the emptiness it left him with to go away. He knew that he could go to him, right now, but what would he even say? _‘Hey Magnus, sorry I haven’t talked to you in years, but I had this crazy dream and it brought back all these feelings and I miss you._ ’ Yeah fucking right. 

The picture started to shake in his hands and he knew he was about to self-destruct. He slammed the bottle down and stormed out of his apartment, heading for the third story. Maybe some training would take his mind off of things. 

 

**((0))**

 

“Mommy?” Violet asked, pulling on her mother’s nightdress. The poor girl had been sick on and off throughout the night, which left Clary worn out and irritable. 

“What is it love?” She asked, trying to stir the jello without it slopping over the sides of the small pot it was in. Violet pulled again and she looked down into her drawn and worried little face. 

“There is a man outside,” She said, biting her lower lip. 

Instantly Clary’s shadowhunter reflexes went into play. She shut off the heat on the stove and tugged Violet down the hall before gesturing for her to go crawl into bed with her dad. She never had a seraph blade far off and took the one that was above the doorframe of her bedroom. She didn’t blaze it to life but tip-toed to the living room and flattened herself next to the window. She reached out and gingerly moved the blinds aside, looking out into the nearly deserted street outside. Violet had been right, there was a man outside. She couldn’t make out his features, but he was rather tall, and looking at the upper stories of the house. Probably one of Alec’s jilted lovers. She put the seraph blade in the pocket of her robe and instead took up a baseball bat, making her way to the front door. 

She threw open the door to her apartment but kept the chain lock on the door to the building, opening it only as much as the lock would allow. It wasn’t like it was the first time something like this had happened. The man outside didn’t even look towards the door. 

“Buzz off Casanova, or I’ll call the cops!” She shouted at the door, trying to get his attention. The man still did not look at her. 

“Hello Clary,” He said, and she instantly recognized him to be Magnus. 

“What the hell?” She asked, before slamming the door so she could actually unlock and open it. Maybe something was wrong with him, he had never before set foot anywhere near this place. Once she got the door open she stepped out onto the front stoop. It was only slightly humorous that her being three steps above him put them at eye level. “What are you doing here? I just saw you last week.”

“Have you?” He asked distractedly. “I don’t remember.”

“Are you okay?” She asked, maternal instinct kicking in. 

“No,” He stated flatly, still not meeting her eye. 

“Are you here for Alec?” She asked rather quietly, but she might as well have shouted it in his face for the reaction he gave her. Eyes snapping down instantly and face changing to something she couldn’t quite place. Something was off about him, something serious, but she couldn’t place that either. 

“Is he here?” He asked hurriedly. 

“You don’t want to go up there,” She answered, very honestly. She had seen his little guest, and if Magnus had showed up to try some kind of reunion, this was not the time. “You can come inside if you’d like.”

“Alright,” He said quietly, and went to make his way up the stairs. It was then that everything clicked into place, the wrongness about him identified. She hadn’t meant to scream the way she did, or back up and rip out her seraph blade. To be perfectly honest she was not sure what way her reaction should be going, but fear was struck into her at the sight of Magnus in the light. He was…human. Green cat eyes were replaced by a rather fetching pair of brown ones. He looked fragile, more so than she had ever seen him in his entire life. This couldn’t be! 

“Clary stop!” Magnus ordered, taking all three steps at once and laying his hands on her shoulders. She wasn’t sure why she couldn’t stop screaming, and she slashed out with her blade, leaving a long gash in the front of his shirt. “Clarissa it’s me! Would you stop it!?”

The door behind her swung open and Jace emerged, armed to the teeth and clearly ready to defend his wife. He realized quickly she was in no real danger, other than from possibly going into shock. 

“What have you done Magnus,” Jace said in a shocked kind of awe, he had seen the eyes too and his blade fell clattering to the ground. Clary had stopped screaming, but now she was shaking, tears falling down her face. 

“You didn’t, tell me you didn’t,” She kept saying over and over again. 

“Can we take this inside?” He asked, peaking over his shoulders to make sure there were no neighbors staring. Clary and Jace might be able to go unseen, but Magnus no longer had that power. They both silently led the way inside, locking up behind themselves and staring at Magnus like he were a ghost. 

Once inside their apartment Magnus let himself relax. He had expected these reactions, but now he wasn’t so sure about his story. Would they believe him? He couldn’t make them after all, but his current state was proof enough that it happened. It was going to be a long morning! 

“Mommy who is that?” Violet asked from her hiding spot at the hall corner. No Uncle Kitty for him now, and the thought of her being scared of him hurt him more than he thought it could. She had been enchanted by him once, but now he was nothing special to her, no eyes like her cat Poppy’s. 

“I need you to go lay down for a little bit honey,” Clary told her, voice a bit shaky. “I’ll be there in a little bit.”

The child did not look happy about this but went to obey anyhow. The three adults were locked in a state of confusion. How to begin this clearly fantastical tale? Jace finally broke the spell by throwing himself into the armchair with an overdramatic sigh, pulling Clary into his lap. She was still crying, still unable to believe what was right before her eyes. Magnus offered her a little smile and sat on the arm of the couch. 

“I know it’s a bit of a shock,” He began. 

“How?” Clary asked him. “Why?”

“Why else? For him,” Magnus said, being met with two cold glares. “The things I’m about to tell you will seem unbelievable, even impossible, but I need you to hear me. Alright?”

“What can be more unbelievable than your mortality?” Clary demanded to know. 

“How I achieved it I suppose,” He ventured. “I had to fix it.”

So he launched into the whole exhausting tale, starting with the murder of Beaudroux, which was to take place in two days, and ending with Zane Pierce. He supposed it helped that Jace knew who the Enchantress was, and believed she was capable of such atrocities, it made him seem more credible. He was clearly being met with skepticism though, especially the part about the time magic, which they both believed to be impossible. But something shined in Clary’s eyes when he explained in detail the encounter he had with the angel before he was pitched back to this day and age. How the angel had burned out all signs of the demon parentage he had. 

“If we don’t act immediately, the chain of events will already be set into motion, we will not be able to stop Adelaide,” He tried to vehemently warn them. 

“Callista and Gwen did just arrive at the Institute,” Clary put forth, trying to make his story legitimate. Jace seemed unconvinced or rather unhappy about the story. 

“If what you say is true,” Jace started. 

“It is,” Magnus assured him. 

“Then maybe you should leave,” Jace told him straight. 

“Leave?”

“Do you think he’s going to be happy to see you? He hasn’t heard from you in eight years! And what if we can’t stop the events you speak of? What if Adelaide just finds another way, or they get set into motion by someone else? You’ll just bring disaster to his life, you’ll get him killed,” Jace said to him, and the room became deathly still, Clary wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

“Alec will be a target if you stay,” Clary said, voice thick. “The Enchantress will come here looking for you.”

“You can’t mean that,” Magnus declared while standing. 

“It should be easy for you,” Jace said, getting up from behind Clary and meeting Magnus glare for glare. “You’re good at walking out on him.”

“I sacrificed my magic to get back to him,” Magnus growled. 

“Maybe that wasn’t your punishment for messing with time,” Jace said with a nasty smile. “Perhaps losing Alec is your real punishment.”

“And how will you stop me from seeing him?” 

“By all means,” Jace sniggered. “He’s right up stairs.”

So Magnus turned on his heel and left. 

 

**((0))**

 

Sitting outside Alec’s apartment, too scared to knock on the door, was not exactly the romantic reunion he had in mind. He didn’t want to admit it out loud, but Jace’s words had shaken him to the core. Maybe losing Alec would be his punishment, maybe there was no way to stop Adelaide and her trail of blood. The first time they had been reunited had been an accident, this time it was intentional, and more of Jace’s words stung through him. What if Alec didn’t want to see him? What if there was nothing left for him here? Eventually footsteps thundering down from the third story jolted him into action. He would never make it to the other set of steps without being seen, and before he was ready Alec came gloriously into view, sweat soaked and shirtless. 

“You’re up early,” He said without emotion, not looking at him at all. 

“I had to see you,” He managed to get out. 

Alec froze, hand halfway to the doorknob. Recognizing the voice, recognizing it wasn’t the man he had left in his bed but the one he couldn’t get out of his thoughts. The color seemed to drain from his face and his body went rigid. He still didn’t turn and look but seemed to mutter ‘not again’ and let his forehead thump into the door. His chest was huffing in and out like he was trying to catch his breath and Magnus reached out a hand by instinct to calm him, even though there was no magic touch this time. When skin contacted skin Alec yelped and jerked away from him as if burned. 

“You’re real,” He whispered, eyes going wide and wild, stepping away from this apparent apparition. 

“Of course I’m real,” Magnus said gently. 

“The dream,” Alec said cryptically. His eyes were moving rapidly back and forth as if he was reading something in the air. “Oh Magnus, what have you done?” 

A sob tore from his throat and he fell to his knees, Magnus coming to him instantly. He tentatively went to put his arms around him, and when he wasn’t rebuffed, held him in earnest. The ex-warlock could not be sure what this meant, if it was a good sign or no, but for now he was contented to hold the love of his life, really hold him, and for the first time have them both be human. 

“Tell me it isn’t true,” Alec said through his outburst of emotion. 

“That what isn’t true?” Magnus asked, though he was sure he already knew what the other man meant. What he didn’t know was how he found out. 

“The dream!” Alec shouted despairingly. “That we’ve already been reunited before. All those deaths! Your fault!” He accused. 

“It is true,” Magnus told him, he wouldn’t lie this time. He had no immortality or magic to hide behind. He was only human after all. 

“No! Why would you do that?”

“Because you asked me to,” Magnus said desperately. “You gave me permission to come back.”

Alec shrugged him off then and stood, keeping his back towards him for several moments to compose himself. Magnus stood too, and hoped beyond hope that Alec wouldn’t get mad. He remembered the man he had met the first time they reunited, a hardened shadowhunter that was furious with himself for letting him back in. But now this mysterious dream had maybe paved a road for him, though Magnus couldn’t be sure. 

“I’ve had a lot to drink this morning. This can’t be happening,” He said more to himself than to Magnus. “I think you should leave.”

“This is happening Alec, look at me,” He begged. 

“No,” The other man replied, and turned towards the door as it opened and a redheaded man peeked out into the hall. 

“Everything okay?” He asked groggily, peering at Magnus with a half opened eye. 

“Go back to bed,” Alec told him, moving to follow him into the house. 

It wasn’t that Magnus thought Alec had remained celibate and pining all these years, accept that maybe he had wished it. He knew the reality though, Alec was gorgeous and nights were lonely and things like this were bound to happen. He just hoped he wouldn’t have been around to see it. To see the beautiful human boy who had probably never put Alec in mortal danger, who had most likely never dragged him into awful affairs or walked out on him. So when the two of them disappeared behind the door Magnus did as he was told and finally left. 

Coming back had been a mistake. 

 

**((0))**

 

“You’re insane,” Isabelle told her parabatai. “Utterly lost it.”

“No I haven’t,” Clary insisted, pacing back and forth in front of the desk. They were alone for now, Jace and Alec had business in the city. She couldn’t stop worrying about them, couldn’t stop hoping that they would make it through without thoughts of the newly unmagicked warlock distracting them both. “I’m telling you Iz, Magnus is human and he is telling a very tall tale to back it up.”

“Adelaide the Enchantress is ancient, and more important than that she is careful. She would never risk herself for a vampire,” Isabelle urged again. 

“I’m telling you her apprentice will botch the job and draw attention, they will be forced to flee. Are we really wishing to risk it? Callista could die,” She said. “Alec could die.”

“And how are we supposed to stop her exactly? We can’t just arrest her,” Izzy said. 

“Why not?”

“Because she is the High Warlock of Paris, we can’t just throw accusations at her!”

“Then we warn Beaudroux,” Clary tried.

“And if he doesn’t believe us?” Isabelle asked. 

“I don’t know! Maybe then we should tell Simone Morville, she would be required to take any threats like this seriously,” Clary put forth. That halted Isabelle slightly. 

“I suppose,” She ventured. “You’re sure Magnus was telling the truth?”

“You should have seen him Iz, everything about it was wrong. He had to be telling the truth, how would he even come up with a story like that?” Clary asked. 

“Who would we send?” Isabelle asked, in a way that clearly stated she thought nobody would want to do it. France was a madhouse when it came to the underworlders and even more so when it came to the shadowhunters. “Maybe it should be Callista, get her away from the danger.”

“That’s sending her right to it,” Clary insisted. “I’ll go, I can be back within a few hours.”

“Then I’ll go with you,” Iz started to say.

“No,” Clary cuts her off. “I need you here, to watch over the boys. You need to keep them safe.”

Isabelle nods her understanding. 

“Be safe sister,” Are her parting words. 

 

**((0))**

 

Magnus is sitting in the loft without the lights on, with a bottle, basking in his loneliness. He felt hopeless, like a statue that has tried desperately to move from it’s perch for millennia only to realize, finally, that he was merely stone. Cold stone. Everything was so wrong, his cat didn’t even recognize him. For some reason that threw him over into an endless abyss. He felt like he could just sit here until he died. Maybe it would even be pleasant. 

Someone was knocking on the door. 

“Go away!” He shouted, moving his fingers to cast a spell, only too late remembering that he couldn’t. He laughed hysterically. 

“Open the fucking door Magnus!” Came Alec’s reply. 

It was enough to send Magnus into motion, flying off the couch and running to the door, pulling it open with gusto. Alec looked angry, angrier than Magnus has seen him in a long time. It brought up memories of a beach in Hawaii where he had once treated him like a monster. Forgiveness had been found there too however, and Magnus hoped beyond hope that it could be happening again. Alec reached out and grabbed Magnus by the back of the neck, crashing their mouths together hard. 

Magnus felt weightless, butterflies in his stomach, and giddy. It felt startlingly like the first time he had ever been kissed. It was all electricity and heat and he didn’t want it to ever end. He clutched to Alec too frantically, but the other man didn’t seem to mind. In fact he pushed Magnus back into the apartment with forceful hands and a hungry mouth. 

The fear subsided and gave in to desire, and somehow everything was clearer. It wasn’t like it was when he had been a warlock. Everything was sharper, more urgent. He felt outright like a virgin. Like he was nineteen for the first time. Alec shoved him back hard, keeping his fist knotted in the front of his shirt, using the other hand to rip it open and send the buttons scattering across the floor. Magnus had an eerie sense of déjà vu, and the pause that Alec gave showed that he did too. Their eyes met and everything froze for a second. 

“By the Angel, you were telling the truth,” Alec says, breathless. 

“Yes,” Magnus said, just as out of breath. 

“This has all happened before,” Alec says. “How can I remember something that I haven’t done yet?”

“Because in a different time you did,” Magnus tries to explain. 

“Were…were we in love?”

“Yeah,” The once warlock tells him. “We even got married.”

“I asked you to marry me,” Alec says, his head looking like it was about to burst apart. 

“Yes.”

“Fuck Magnus,” He says instead, eyes over bright, and then grabs him again. The heat bursts through them both again and then it’s a rush to strip one another, to feel skin on skin, to have more. Always more. 

Alec dropped to his knees suddenly, peppering kisses along Magnus’s hipbones. He thought he would die from want, straining against his jeans, needing Alec badly. The shadowhunter finally took pity on him and undid the fly, pulling his pants down around his hips, running two strong hands over the curve of his ass. Magnus was already painfully erect and thrust towards Alec, more than ready. Blue eyes lit with mischief and he lazily licked up the underside of his cock, eliciting a whorish moan. 

“It feels differently doesn’t it,” Alec guessed. Magnus had always been an experienced and controlled lover. Now he could do nothing more than nod weakly. “Good. I always fantasized about taking your virginity.”

Magnus is about to laugh when Alec finally sets his mouth on him, swallowing him down to the base. It feels like something better than magic. For just a moment he knows what he did was worth it. Things had been amazing with Alec before, but now he could truly feel him. Being human was beautiful. It was what it meant to truly live. 

He tries to even out his breathing, but he can barely even control his thrusting. Alec stilled himself, using his arms to urge Magnus to fuck his mouth. Magnus knows he will not last long, not even close to long. He is in fact surprised he has not already spent himself. He tries to warn him of the impending danger when there is a firm cupping of his ass, pushing him deep into Alec’s throat, and all Magnus can manage is to fist a hand in his hair for warning before he comes. Very much like a virgin. 

Alec drains him and pulls away, his lips looking swollen and wet. “That has to be some kind of record,” He teases. And it makes Magnus’s heart skip a beat. It had been nearly the same thing he had said to him all those years ago, the first time he had gone down on Alec. 

“Shut up,” He says, pushing Alec backwards and sending him sprawling on his back before he pounces on him. 

Time is his friend that night.


End file.
